Highest Rated Comments

balancetime594 karma

Do you get Asian men as clients? I'm really curious about their experience, something recently brought to my attention by my Asian colleague is how skewed the dating realm is for Asian men and women. Apparently, Asian women by and large prefer to date non-Asian men (especially white men), which I thought was crazy since I think men and women naturally gravitate towards someone of the same race/culture. He told me to make a mental note of couples I saw, and sure enough, almost every time I saw an Asian woman with a partner, it was usually a white man. It could just be the city I live in, but he pointed me towards research that suggests this is commonplace.

So I guess I'm wondering if Asian clients bring this up or you mention it to them, and if so, how you address it? And why you think it's this way?

Random question I know, something I never really thought about until an Asian friend of mine pointed it out.

balancetime10 karma

Thanks, interesting things to think about. I bookmarked your talk and will check it out later.

I have to admit, I didn't think your clients would bring it up. I had no idea this was a "thing" until fairly recently, but it's one of those things I notice everywhere now - like a song you can't get out of your head. I should clarify, of course I see Asian couples, it's just since my friend mentioned it I noticed the ratio of Asian woman/White man to Asian woman/Asian man is approximately 4:1 where I stay. It just stands out to me, that's all, since I don't really notice it with other races. And as you mentioned, research has shown that this seems to be the case, although there's probably way too many variables in play to try to come up with a solid explanation as to why that is.

I guess I didn't think about differences in upbringing, especially since every Asian guy I know is extremely "westernized" so to speak (obviously so, since they grew up here). They're definitely not shy nor meek, sometimes annoyingly the complete opposite lol. I'm assuming it's a much bigger issue for Asian men whose parents are first-generation immigrants.

men who are confident, bold, courageous, secure, and unapologetically themselves. Most Caucasian men already have this.

This one I'll have to disagree with. I've met a lot of people, and race wasn't a factor in regards to those traits in men.

Anyway, thanks for your comment, I think I have a better understanding of it now.

balancetime2 karma

Really interesting, thanks for your comment mate. I can kind of understand the "media indoctrination" bit, but I don't fully buy it as the only reason. I think a lot of people would "break out" of that programming as a young adult, right? How is this issue seemingly the outlier to that?

I guess not being a woman, I didn't pick up on any emasculating representations of Asian men or think about it that deeply. My idea of Asian men was definitely martial arts related. In fact Bruce Lee and his films are what got me into fitness, and I only had positive images of Asian men in media. But now that I think about it, looking back, Asian guys in films/TV were usually shown as the nerdy/dorky/creepy guy who's just kind of "there." I guess that can have a lasting image in people's minds, but I still don't believe it's the biggest cause.