baildodger

Are you sure it's not what comes before a gravy train?

Why the hell is Dominoes pizza so ridiculously overpriced?

Probably because 'police investigation' is very vague. I imagine that emphasising that someone has died probably makes people less likely to complain.

I presume that you get the infinite handkerchiefs on some sort of monthly subscription.

We have obese people in Europe as well! In the UK most ambulance services have the kit needed to get obese people out of bathtubs so we don't generally need the fire service to assist.