baggachipz

Fuck, marry, kill: Mischa Barton, Rachel Bilson, Adam Brody?

Have you ever felt that police over-use their Taser specifically because it is non-lethal?

True story about the stuffed peppers: I was in college, living in an apartment. I splurged and got the frozen stuffed peppers meal at the local Kroger because I was feeling fancy. Now, a meal that fancy can't be prepared in the microwave. So, being the college foodie that I was, I opted to heat it in the toaster-oven instead for a more authentic flavor.

I was shocked at the 50-minute cook time, but ignored my extreme hunger pangs as I dutifully watched it slowly cook and brown through the glass window. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, my meal signaled its doneness by the rich "ding" of the toaster oven.

With the giddiness of a little boy on Christmas morning, I flung the oven door open, revealing my glorious repast. I gripped the edges of the cardboard tray, and proceeded to the dinner table to devour the fruits of my labor.

Unfortunately, my thermodynamics classes had failed to warn me that the tray was exceedingly hot, a sensation I chose not to realize until my trip to the dining room was 50% complete. Mere inches from the table, the tray slipped from my fingers, rendering my long-awaited dish of glory as nothing more than a heap of sauce and hair on the carpet.

My roommates guffawed at my misfortune, igniting a hungry and unsatisfied beast within me. I proceeded to smash our finest patio chaise lounge (permanently a fixture in front of the tv) into a heap of twisted aluminum and plastic tubing. I went to bed hungry and humiliated that night. I still can't bring myself to purchase a frozen stuffed pepper meal.

Oh hell yes, I'm 100% Tim Gunn approved. Take THAT, wife!

Three months from today, expect another round. Always works this way. And they always act like it's a one-time thing.