bagelsandkegels

Edit 3,249,875: I said I would deliver and here it is, a link to the mostly embarrassing article about my "Matt Damon Experience" printed in the local paper on February 26, 2000. And because I'm receiving a lot of requests for more of my work, feel free to check out this segment I did back in college. It was filmed seven years ago but it's still funny (in my opinion).

Fourteen years ago on February 25th you had just returned to your mom's home from promoting The Talented Mr. Ripley in Germany when you picked up a stack of faxes--at the top of which was a letter from my father. He wrote an impassioned plea that my favorite actor and screenwriter call me to wish me a happy seventeenth birthday.

I had a 3-5 minute phone call with you that morning, during which you apologized for calling a day late (my birthday was the 24th). I was panicking inside--to actually be talking to my hero. I would often wonder, growing up in my small town of Tallahassee, FL, where my favorite celebrities were at any given moment but that morning I actually knew you were on the phone--with me!

Good Will Hunting inspired me to realize my dreams of becoming a filmmaker. I voiced my gratitude to you for your work and you joked that one day I'd probably give you a job (kill me!). After a few minutes of chatting I figured you would probably need to hang up soon so I asked if I could ask you one more question (I wanted to be the one to hang up on Matt Damon, not the other way around!) and you said "Anything." There was a brief moment where I paused and considered asking you if I could bear your children but instead I asked you to please remember the phone call because one day I would be a successful director and screenwriter and when you heard my name in the future I wanted you to remember that you were the reason I persevered. Your response: "I don't think I could forget this phone call." I died there. Don't even remember hanging up the phone. I do remember the host of profanities I exclaimed in the aftermath (and jumping on my bed like a maniac). I even cried later on because I was worried that receiving that call from you was the best thing that would ever happen to me (it was one of the best).

I did wind up going to film school several years later after some struggles along the way. It was there that I realized my passion for comedy writing and in 2008 I moved to LA to pursue a career in stand up comedy. I would never have found my way had I not gone to film school and I have you to thank for that. For my first standup showcase (link is for reddit, I realize your time in limited) I shared a stage with another hero of mine, Maria Bamford. It was one of the best nights of my life.

So, thank you Matt Damon. I turn 31 in a few weeks and even though I had to throw everything in storage last year and move back to Florida to help out my mom, I hope to return one day and go back to doing what I loved. Even if you don't remember the phone call--I have cherished it for fourteen years and I'm sure I will for the rest of my life. I will think of you on my birthday this year, as I always do.

Thanks, Matt Damon. You're still my hero (and if you didn't already have a beautiful wife and four children, I would still have your babies).

Edit: Holy shit, people! Gold times two?! I am humbled and honored. Thank you! More exclamation points: !!!!!

Edit deuce: Gold times three?! You guys are nuts. Now I really must go find that horribly embarrassing local news article as my gift to you. It even has a color photo of me next to a photo of Matt Damon, that at the time I thought was good but now I think I looked gothic.

Edit three: Looks like Matt Damon has left the building but I got such a kick out of how invested everyone became in my receiving a response. Thanks for letting me relive one of my happiest moments. I am not disappoint. Can't find the article but I have a bunch of other boxes in the garage to go through so if/when I do I will post it in a fourth edit. Thank you all.

Edit four: Gold times four! This is madness.

Edit five: I found the article in the garage. If people are still reading, please standby while I scan and upload.

I smell a Lifetime movie of the week.

Love Thy Neighbor: A Story of the Ultimate BeTreyal.

Seriously. That's just bad business.

Give the man time. Even if he doesn't respond I enjoyed sharing the story with reddit. I'm smiling thinking about how young I was and how much happiness that call brought me. I still have the newspaper article from the local paper somewhere here. I'll try to find it and scan when I get home (I have an appointment in five minutes).

I completely forgot that when he apologized for his call being late I almost joked that I'd let it go if he called again the next year. I was afraid he wouldn't laugh so I played it safe and just said "I can't believe I'm talking to Academy Award winner Matt Damon." He responded, "Well you're talkin' to me!"