I must say that I def. feel very strongly for OP. I was adopted out of a Korean orphanage as a toddler, and even having been relatively young compared to OP's children and probably better taken care of in Seoul (even though it was the 80's and S. Korea was undergoing major structural changes at the time) -- point is, I was a total asshole growing up. Just a giant, scummy piece of shit towards my parents and everyone around me. My parents worked very hard to give me a loving home and make sure I was well taken care of through expensive private schooling, high level gymnastics training all through my youth and adol years, and still making sure I could go off to a tier 1 University and graduate without a single cent of debt. And yet, I was truly a terror-- years of unspeakable acting out against others and myself. Really shameful shit.
It's only now that I can reflect with a more rounded view on the situation and on myself and try and atone for my actions and misbehaviour. My parents tell me that it wasn't truly my fault, and the slew of behavioral therapists and family counselors all attribute most of my bad behaviour to various personality issues associated with having been abandoned and internationally adopted-- but as a finally functioning human being, it literally hurts to reflect back on how much of a shit I was and can't ever really thank my parents enough for never dissolving the adoption or giving me up, although I'm more than certain they wanted to at times.
My heart goes out to OP, having been on the other end of the situation. My hope is that one day your girls can evolve beyond their problems and their pain and mature into fully and high functioning adults who are capable of empathy and love. It can happen.
edit: Wanted to clarify after a reread that my parents were not by any means rich, but middle class by every measurable account. They saved and frugalized every cent to try and provide these things for me. In the end, I ended up shunning private schooling and attended a public LAUSD high school-- horrible-- which also gave me some perspective, and out of sheer acting out and dumbass-ity almost ended up not falling through the cracks, but jumping. I don't know how I turned out well in the end, but as I often jokingly say: "too Asian to fail"
arvzi131 karma
I must say that I def. feel very strongly for OP. I was adopted out of a Korean orphanage as a toddler, and even having been relatively young compared to OP's children and probably better taken care of in Seoul (even though it was the 80's and S. Korea was undergoing major structural changes at the time) -- point is, I was a total asshole growing up. Just a giant, scummy piece of shit towards my parents and everyone around me. My parents worked very hard to give me a loving home and make sure I was well taken care of through expensive private schooling, high level gymnastics training all through my youth and adol years, and still making sure I could go off to a tier 1 University and graduate without a single cent of debt. And yet, I was truly a terror-- years of unspeakable acting out against others and myself. Really shameful shit.
It's only now that I can reflect with a more rounded view on the situation and on myself and try and atone for my actions and misbehaviour. My parents tell me that it wasn't truly my fault, and the slew of behavioral therapists and family counselors all attribute most of my bad behaviour to various personality issues associated with having been abandoned and internationally adopted-- but as a finally functioning human being, it literally hurts to reflect back on how much of a shit I was and can't ever really thank my parents enough for never dissolving the adoption or giving me up, although I'm more than certain they wanted to at times.
My heart goes out to OP, having been on the other end of the situation. My hope is that one day your girls can evolve beyond their problems and their pain and mature into fully and high functioning adults who are capable of empathy and love. It can happen.
edit: Wanted to clarify after a reread that my parents were not by any means rich, but middle class by every measurable account. They saved and frugalized every cent to try and provide these things for me. In the end, I ended up shunning private schooling and attended a public LAUSD high school-- horrible-- which also gave me some perspective, and out of sheer acting out and dumbass-ity almost ended up not falling through the cracks, but jumping. I don't know how I turned out well in the end, but as I often jokingly say: "too Asian to fail"
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