aqqalachia

it is! i don't wanna get too nsfw, but as a trans guy, it was very different before hormones compared to how it is now. pre-t ones are sorta full body and intense and sometimes your legs don't work for a bit after. on-t ones, you're kind of like whew awesome. glad that's done. but its like more pelvic and not full body and subsides more quickly.

It's one of the aspects of some types of PTSD that people don't often realize is a thing.

other trans person chiming in in case op is overwhelmed: research what trans people go through, and think about how to help from there. we have trouble getting jobs, housing, etc. ncte has a good study on those stats. and call out others when they're being shitty because we and our significant others get exhausted from having to do it.

Have you considered saving up to go overseas? The Netherlands has much more comprehensive right to die laws. Hopefully with the pandemic there is a way you can get there when you need to.

I hope you have peace and meaning with the life you have and the death you encounter.

did any of them say why it strengthened their faith?