antiwhitney

So, I'm not sure if I'm too late to the game to ask some questions... I'm a female pilot, and because of our lack of numbers in the field, I am always flying with men, which normally is great and as weird as it sounds I don't really notice my difference in gender.

The trips we do are normally 2 to 4 days, so obviously there's overnights, it's not abnormal to go out with your crew on these overnights (if they're long enough) to have food and maybe a couple drinks. Since the flight attendants usually stay at different hotels this means that if I ever want to be social, it will just be with my captain, this is normally friendly and completely appropriate.

And then there was a trip earlier this month. I was flying with a guy at least 20 years my senior, he has been at the company since before I hit high school. Trip is completely normal, he seems cool, we talk about our respective spouses (we're both married), hobbies, etc. laughs are had, whatever. Then we have a longer overnight, we decide to get tacos and beer. After a couple beers he starts saying some complimentary stuff that now thinking back may have been a red flag. Then when we get back to the hotel (our rooms are right next to each other, awesome) he keeps asking me to come over. I say no, close my door, start to get ready for bed. This is where I get uncomfortable... he starts texting me to come over, then he comes and knocks on my door to come over. I insist that I'm staying put and to leave me alone.

So, I'm trying to keep this shorter but it's hard because we have such a weird work place. Long story short I was supposed to fly the rest of the month with this guy. I know that our union will do nothing because it's a bit of an ol boys club and they're much more likely to protect the more senior pilot, especially since, 'nothing really went wrong' and more than likely it'll just get rumor milled until everyone knows I'm an uptight asshole. And talking directly to the company would immediately make me nearly a union "scab". But I was uncomfortable flying with him, so I dropped the rest of the month, unpaid (which is a totally normal thing we can do).

My question is, what can I do in the future? I mean, short of never socializing on overnights I'm not really sure what I can do... ask him to drop the trips instead because he made me uncomfortable? Basically I'm asking what you may have to offer for advice in a situation like this, if it happens again.

Thanks, as simple as it is, this is what I think I needed. He texted me again when I dropped the trips to just acknowledge that I had and he "didnt want to fly with some loser" and I just want to ignore it (because that would initially be more comfortable for me), but I should follow up and document.