amazonallie

Hi there...

If I can also offer perspective from a child who lost her daddy, My last year of my second degree my father was diagnosed with stage V cancer of the esophagus and stomach. I can remember growing up watching him chew tums to deal with heartburn, but he was too stubborn to go to a doctor. Had he gone to a doctor, it may have been prevented, so the first thing I want to say is please don't ever be stubborn about going to the doctor for anything!

But specifically to you, a dying father, I want to say this. I forgave my dad for not going to the doctor earlier. I was never angry with him about being sick. I never once felt he had let me down, even though he felt he had. He had been the best father anyone could ask for my entire life, and that outweighed anything to do with his illness. He did have surgery when he was diagnosed even though we all knew it was only to potentially buy some time. It would either kill him right there, and it almost did, or it would give him a few more months. We took those few months it did give him and did everything that was important to us as a family. We spent Christmas together for the first time in a decade, because traditionally it was his busiest time at work, and there was no point in me visiting. He took his RV and went with my stepmother to their favorite camping spots (Peggy's Cove, NS) and while he was there, he did all his favorite things.

When my father passed away on Halloween 2002, 1 year and 1 week after his surgery, my stepmother gave me a piece of blue beach glass. My father had walked on the beach for hours trying to find 3 identical pieces. One for him to be cremated with, one for my stepmother and one for me. I have been blessed to have many beautiful pieces of jewelry from my family, but that piece of beach glass is my most prized possession. My stepmother made it into a necklace, and I never take it off, even if it doesn't match the occasion. People ask me all the time about it, and when they do, I get to tell the story of my dad and the beach glass.

The last weekend my father was alive, he had been rushed to the hospital, and I immediately was on a train to see him. We spent 2 days talking about the silliest things, and just hanging out. Then, just before it was time for me to leave one night, he had the nurse come in. In front of me, he told her he did not want any more blood transfusions, which had been keeping him alive. He wanted to make sure his only daughter (and child) was there to see him make that decision. I understood.

Your children are not going to hate you for letting go. Yes, ideally I would have preferred my daddy to be around, but I understood that sometimes life is going to be cruel. I did not want to see him in pain, and I hated that feeling of dread every single time my phone rang when he was sick, knowing that the news on the other end could be bad. I miss him dearly, but there was also a sense of relief when he did pass away because I knew his suffering was over, and I also knew that I would never have to worry about getting that phone call again.

Days when I wish I could call my daddy, I hold my beach glass in my hand and talk to him. I hope there is an afterlife and he is hearing what I say, and I do believe he does. Ironically, the greatest gift he ever gave me was that piece of beach glass not the best education or the expensive stereo equipment because it is something that came from the depths of his heart as he faced his own mortality.

Write those letters like people have said because you are an amazing writer, but leave them each something like my tiny piece of blue beach glass, that way they can always have something from you with them.

Interesting aside.

I have PTSD. My dogs wake me up when I am having nightmares.

They were not trained to do this. They just did it.

My dog also freaked out when my diabetic friend's blood sugar spiked.

So while not expensive service dogs, they do what I need, the waking up from nightmares and calming me.

Dogs are amazing creatures.

As a lady long haul truck driver (former teacher) you have NO idea how much I appreciate my mechanics!!

Without y'all I couldn't do my job and the world would shut down!

That is so messed up.

I reported last year to my boss. And it was investigated and he was fired. It took about a week for them to do a thorough investigation.

I am so sorry you were told that! I am in a male dominated industry, women are about 3% right now.

No matter what company in my industry I have gone to, it has been taken very seriously, but my responsibility is to set clear guidelines to my male coworkers and make sure my lines are clear.

It takes a lot to get me offended, and unless you are creepy stalking or actually touching me, the rest I handle.

Anything where the intent is humour is ok. Anything with an intent of a compliment is ok. Some guys are pretty bad at expressing things. 😂

Be a pig, I give it right back.

But this guy, he groped me, and trapped me for over 30 minutes. Then he followed me for 2 days instead of doing his job.

I told 2 friends and our satellite tracking backed up my story. My version of events made more sense than his.

It also helped I am very vocal about not dating as my job makes it difficult and that I am also clear that I only have sex within relationships, so that helped the credibility as well.

For HR to dismiss your claims is not ok. It really isn't. That is painful to hear! I have zero advice other than to always follow your gut about things.

Hugs!

Hi John...

No question... just telling you that I love you to death.... Cliff Clavin is a true hero... not in the hero sense of good... but hero in the sense that Homer Simpson is also my hero...

Can you please tell the beer makes you smarter story though... I love that one!