ama4scale

NGL I dropped the soap my first week there.

I just looked around and since most everybody else was new (your first month you're in an intake unit so everybody is pretty fresh) we all sorta just started laughing. I didn't pick that shit up though.

I hate the use of this term, but she was developing. I know it's a crude term but I really don't like to use "treatment jargon" and it's just an easier way to explain it. She had the physical features of teenaged girls. I was a teenager at the time. So physically - the attraction was there.

The mental attraction was to her age and lack of maturity. It fit into the fear of rejection I had, as a younger girl isn't going to say no to a senior. Ultimately, I was so worried about being embarrassed by being rejected by a girl that I payed no attention to the embarrassment of sexualizing a 12 year old.

The physical attraction just doesn't exist anymore, as I'm no longer a teenager. Obviously I'm still attracted to breasts, brown eyes, brown hair, etc.. and teenagers have those things too. But what treatment helped me with was that mental puzzle. How do I become confident enough in myself to be able to handle rejection? What if someone thinks I'm ugly, etc... how do I deal with that? That's what we fixed. Now instead of spiraling past red flag after red flag in pursuit of a "fix" -- I have interventions and other healthy things in place to assure it never gets that bad.

There's such a wide spectrum of sex offense in the USA today it's really hard to answer that question. I did treatment with some people that weren't leaving.. and I felt bad, but not really. Ya know?

The all sex offenders = bad people idea is some serious bullshit, though. You can get a 10 year registration for peeing on a bush, what kind of shit is that?

I think sex offender laws and legislation need a serious overhaul because there are just way too many umbrella laws and very little wiggle room for sentencing. Not everybody who commits a sex offense is a piece of shit waiting to rape the next innocent person who walks past them. However, some of them are - and it's scary.

When I meet new people I have to constantly dance around the "do I tell them, what's a good time?" questions in my head. It's really stressful to meet people, connect because of some kind of topic, and then have to debate losing that connection because you don't want to offend them by withholding such a major issue. But you also don't want to scare them away until they've had enough time to see the real you.

She was supposed to be babysitting her younger siblings and decided to sneak out to a party instead. Her parents caught her, pressed her on where she was, what she was doing -- and it all came out.

"The Dementors" is my reply when people ask me the worst thing about prison. No joke.

I'd say about 30% get it. The rest have no idea.