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adognamedpenguin910 karma

Amazing AMA

What was your most grueling physical exercise for training? Or special forces selection?

adognamedpenguin184 karma

I’ve heard it gets to be like 60kg of supplies/weight!

How long did you have to go for?

adognamedpenguin165 karma

Mr brooks, thank you, your book changed my life. I’ve read it a few times, and after I lost my mom, I was living alone, in a cabin, like a bug out place, going nuts, dealing with some heavy PTSD. The idea of zombie apocalypses kept me focused on something, as absurd as it was, it gave me a framework. Now the place is stocked and everyone is turning to me for advice with corona. The audio book was insanely well done, and the best voice acting —-changing narrator by chapter—-amazing.

Used to travel by car for 3 hour trips to practice with 3 linemen. Best way to pass time was designing our “achievable” dream houses (250k) for zombie defense.

Do you have a dream house design?

Thanks again.

adognamedpenguin133 karma

this is intense. wow. thanks for sharing. at one point does someone say....maybe this isn't the right thing to do? at the state or religious level?

adognamedpenguin17 karma

so i think about it daily, and it's really not a nice place to be. im too much a coward to do it, and have 1000 reasons not to. why can't i shake wanting the escape of it? just not having to do tomorrow. it's more of a fantasy, but nothing seems to work; all the drugs (prescribed), ketamine treatment has been helpful, and now i guess it's electro shock therapy. emdr didnt work, talk therapy never amounts to anything or any connection with the therapist. working out, meditation, etc; whatever. cutting sometimes seems like the only thing that gains some measure of control. when you've got everything, except an ability to get out of your head, to remove the guilt and shame you feel, and to not feel like you have a foreign part of your brain, what do you do? i went to an event recently and it was for suicide prevention with a party and a fundraiser and a band and i was like, what the fuck is this? if you're hurting, the last thing i want is attention drawn to it. i just want to turn it all off. be locked in a dark room and wither away. or surf a big wave and drown so at least it is a cool epitaph. how can one be excited to be a suicide survivor?

sorry. i just don't get it.