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abunchofsquirrels1347 karma

Let me tell you a story about a guy. He lived in Florida throughout the 70s and 80s. He had a lot of money, but was real secretive about it, and not even his attorney or right-hand assistant knew exactly how much he had. What he did for a living was also kind of a mystery, but he had trucks and airplanes, and flew to the Caribbean and Central America a lot. The guy was also kind of shady in his personal life — he left his wife and daughters for a teenager he met randomly, probably had another girlfriend or wife in Costa Rica, and may have had other women as well. He was also really into exotic animals. Then, one day when he was planning on flying down to Costa Rica, he went missing. Nobody ever found his body or heard from him again.

Now, set aside all the bullshit from the Netflix show and ask yourself: what do YOU think Don Lewis was up to, and how did he die?

abunchofsquirrels745 karma

Tigers and cocaine go together like the 80s and cocaine. Or Florida and cocaine. Or "regularly flying one's personal aircraft to Costa Rica" and cocaine. Or disappearing mysteriously and cocaine. Or "the local police seemingly not working too hard to find out what happened to you after you disappear mysteriously" and cocaine.

I tell you, I feel there's a threadline to this story that we're overlooking somehow. If only I could put my finger on it...

abunchofsquirrels464 karma

She has every reason to be as quiet as possible about what happened to him. For one, the DEA can confiscate money and property if they have reason to believe it is the byproduct of drug transactions -- hell, she might be criminally liable as an accessory depending on what she knew. For another, if he was involved with a criminal syndicate -- and especially if he was taken out by them -- they might very well continue to pose a threat to her. I wouldn't say a fucking word if I was her.

abunchofsquirrels168 karma

It’s true that there’s a lot that we don’t know. But I think that people who review that fact pattern and conclude that the most likely answer is that his hippie animal-loving wife murdered him in cold blood and then chopped his corpse up and fed it to tigers are, to put it lightly, not exactly wielding Occam’s Razor with the greatest of skill.

abunchofsquirrels81 karma

For the past five years I have been exchanging love letters with a Scottish cryptid. Lately our correspondence has become noticeably more passionate, and I am ready to take things to the next level. How should I make my move?