_Didds_

What is the thing that no one so far asked you about this experience that you feel like you would like to share?

Sometimes it felt like the world preferred I hadn't come back b/c it definitely was not prepared to take care of me

I think I understand how you feel. Three years ago I was diagnosed with a potencially life ending cancer that gave me pretty much no real chance to come out of it, and by now I should have been dead and gone by quite some time. Somehow it wasn't ment to be and I am cancer free.

All my plans were gone. All my family assumed I would be gone. All my friends mentally prepared for that, and somehow I am still here. Some days I wonder why. Others I feel like shit for apparently no reason. Most I just live a normal live and sometimes forget that I pretty much made peace with myself a few years ago that I wouldn't be here. Honestly I dunno if besides my parents anyone really deep down cares about me coming up on top. I am sure friends and colegues were happy in their own way, but don't know if they cared or if things were differently by now I wouldn't even be worth a toast by new years eve.

I am not depressed or anything. Just like I don't think you are by saying that. It's just that you get a second chance and then you wonder if things had went the other way around it woukd be that bad in the end.

Anyhow, I am happy you had your second chance. Sucks that over there at the other side of the Atlantic all that I hear is bad things about your medical system. In here I spent like 3K in doctors for more than a year of treatment and visits. Also nothing about those 10 minute bullshit, my doctor would chat with me to gage if I was OK and made sure I would leave her office only when I understood everything she had to tell me. Think we just value human life here differently.

Hope you the best, stay strong ☺️