ZenPaperclips

Can proper set and setting ever be attained in a person with a history of a panic disorder?

I miss Lucy immensely but the fear of an lsd intoxicated panic attack has kept me sober about 20 years now.

In case it matters, I have hundreds of trips from my teens and early 20s and never had problems. Not a single bad trip to speak of. Paradoxically, pot was the substance I believe triggered my panic disorder. (First 2 panic attacks occurred in succession after smoking.) I've since "recovered" in the sense I don't require treatment but have a laundry list of triggers I have adapted to avoid. Caffeine/stimulants and sleep deprivation being the primary culprits.

Is this probably an "if you love her, let her go" type of situation? I only have amazing and magical memories of those experiences and while nostalgia is a hell of a drug itself, I genuinely believe my life is less fulfilling now without it.

Thanks so much for the incredibly thoughtful reply and advice.

"The one thing that got me through that trip was the inner voice in my head that said: This will end and you took a substance."

This especially resonates with me because this is basically the same strategy I used whenever I felt uncomfortable or when I was trying to talk a friend down from a bad trip.

I have actually microdosed both LSD and mushrooms and had generally neutral if not positive experiences. I did let my guard down and cut loose once with a larger amount of shrooms with a roommate about 2 years ago and was miserable. I think I'd have been fine with the thinking and visual effects but dear lord the body load was waaaay too much. It felt like I had drank a pitcher of coffee and I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine. I never felt unsafe, just extremely uncomfortable til I came down. I should have tried with acid in hindsight since I've always tolerated it better.

I don't know. I'm sure I'll eventually give it another go. Working doses up from micro to more standards sizes sounds like it might be a good strategy if/when I do.