ZZucho24 karma2014-05-27 17:44:16 UTC
I was removed from my mother twice and placed into the Washington State foster care system. Each time I was removed, it was due to her drug addiction and neglectful qualities that often are associated with addiction. My mother wasn't present in my twin brother and my life much. I can remember times when we were both much younger, that she was around and very cheerful and loving. However, once she started doing meth and drinking very regularly, she hardly had the ability to care for us appropriately.
The first time we were removed from her care, it was due to her inability to care for us while visiting a local lake. She was drinking and drugging with her friends while my brother and I did our own thing. At age five, this wasn't a very good thing. I remember one of her friends, most likely on drugs, swinging me around in circles by my hands and dislocating my shoulder. My mother was so high and drunk, that another person enjoying their time at the lake grew concerned and offered to let us spend the night. This woman claimed she was a friend of my mother's sister, but I guess anything can be believable while intoxicated. My mother allowed it and long story short, the woman took us to her home, fed us, bathed us, and allowed us to play video games. Once we fell asleep, the woman called the police who came and took us to a foster home.
This foster home, in my opinion, was very mentally abusive. They had their own children (no harm in that), but they clearly treated their foster children very differently in the ways they fed, punished, etc. Having been without food, many times that I could remember, my brother and I would hoard food. Rather than allow us to eat more during meal times, they would lock us in our bedroom at night and even went so far as to place an alarm on our door if we were to get it open. This made my brother and I have to find other ways to relieve ourselves when it came to going to the bathroom. We'd poop out the window and pee in the corner of the bedroom, which we were severely punished for, even spanked to the point where we developed bruises on our backsides. Long story short, we were in this family's care for three or four months while my mother got her act together. Once my mother was deemed as a fit parent again, we were released back into her care, though, the care she provided was not much better than the foster family we were placed with.
My brother and I lived with my mother again for the next four years. In that time, my mom had two more children. The first, being my oldest sister. There was a custody battle between her father and my mother, resulting in the father taking custody of the child. To make matters worse, my mother decided it would be good idea to have another child with the same man, who before took custody of my sister, her father.
My youngest sister was born with Cystic Fibrosis. I don't know what happened but my mother had been dabbling with drugs and drinking here and there. When my youngest sister was born, times got tough for her I guess and she reverted to full on craziness.
My brother and I were eight when my youngest sister was born. My mother, never being around, basically left us to care for her. We changed her diapers, dispensed her cystic fibrosis medications and treatments, fed her, etc. My brother and I would go door to door asking to do chores to make money to buy the diapers and formula. The pharmacy would allow us to pick up her medications. Taking care of anybody with cystic fibrosis is very tough, let alone children. We often missed school because my mother was never around to care for my sister. Going to school would mean my infant sister was all alone at home and we couldn't let that happen.
Eventually the police got involved and revoked custody privileges from my mother and my brother and I were placed in the care of our non-biological grandmother while my mother, again, could clean up her act. My younger sister was placed into the care of her father.
My grandma was abusive physically and mentally. She would not allow us to eat, would have us pick blackberry bushes every day, seriously, every day. She lived on a lot of acreage and we lived with her for two and a half years.
One morning, my grandmother wrapped a belt around my neck and tried to choke me because I took a slice of bread from the kitchen. I ran away for the day and came back later that evening only to find her vehicle not there. I snuck inside through a window and began making myself something to eat and of course, my grandma comes home. She comes in screaming and yelling at me, asking me where I've been. I start running towards the phone to call the police and she takes a sharp knife from the kitchen and begins to chase me. I carried the phone with me as long as I could until the cord couldn't reach anymore. She cut the damn phone line. Luckily, she had another line in her closet, which she connected and proceeded to call the police herself, on me. She claimed I was crazy. The officers, having been to her property before, knew she was a little off so they took me into custody and put me into a group home. My brother was on a fishing trip with my cousin, so lucky for him, he wasn't home at the time of the incident. Unlucky for him, after telling the police he was gone but would be coming back, the police did nothing. My brother was placed into foster care six months later only after my grandmother beat him in the head with a cast iron fireplace shovel.
My brother and I aged out of the foster care system after living with three separate families and a couple of different group homes. Long story short, I had never met my biological father at that point though he was paying court ordered child support the entire time. He had his own family, now has two children of his own, a beautiful house, is very well off, in perspective. My brother and I aged out of the foster care system.
I guess my question is, is why do you think my brother and I never placed with my biological father, although he knew we existed and paid child support? He didn't have issues with drugs or alcohol and had his ducks in a row. Can a biological father, who has no interest in his kids, just allow them to be wards of the state though he would be perfectly capable of caring for them?
I hope this isn't too long winded. I tried providing a back story for understanding.
TLDR; Myself and my brother were in many different abusive situations as children and placed into foster care at two different times. Biological father knew we existed but we never met him. I am curious as to why we were never placed into his care.
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