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Yaffaleh1722 karma

I. AM. A. DONOR. WIDOW. Let me tell you, when my husband died it was the only thing that gave it meaning for us. (at the time) I think I can safely speak for a LOT of families when I say that we want you WELL. We want you HEALTHY. And we want you to know that we REJOICE in your precious life.

Yaffaleh310 karma

I'm over here weeping too. I am just SO happy for you. I've been with a LOT of donor families, and I've never heard ONE word of resentment or regret. There was a show a few years ago called "Three Rivers" based loosely on the University of Pittsburgh's (UPMC) organ procurement team. A line that one of the doctors said has stayed with me. He was talking to a family who were divided over whether they would allow their loved one to be a donor. He said to them, "I've never had a family regret saying yes, but I've met a lot of people who regretted saying no." It is SO TRUE. Dr. Starzl, of blessed memory, performed the first heart transplant there. He did the first transplant at the Pittsburgh VA hospital when I worked on the cardio-thoracic surgical unit. I SAW it. There was a lottery of 32 tickets and I won one. I was in the theater above watching. (because I'm a geek). When he placed those paddles on the side of the heart and it started? I cried like a baby. And the (separate) surgical team with the donor was just so respectful and kind and treated the donor with such gentleness that it made an absolute impression in my heart FOREVER. Since I was 16 and signed my first donor card, I've always had this fire in my belly about organ donation. When I was 24 & saw that surgery, I was convinced. When I lived in Israel I joined ADI (kind of like the Israeli UNOS) & saw donation percentages go from 1% to 10%. It's now closer to 15%. Still fighting that battle! All of us are organ donors. My three sons are, too.

Yaffaleh132 karma

Are you alert and oriented? (That's rhetorical, of course you are) NOW is the time to consider relocating to a RTD state, and see Legal Aid to have a document drawn up which states that you are of sound mind, and have decided that you wish to see a RTD doctor in a RTD state. Whomever is telling you that you won't be eligible is wrong.
I've taken care of dementia patients. When you are bed bound & unable to swallow, hospice will make sure you are clean & dry. We'll make sure you're getting mouth care every 2 hours, and that you are turned so that your skin doesn't break down. If you give any non-verbal signs of pain (grimacing, guarding a body part, or moaning), we will start you on morphine every 3 hours around the clock. If you need it more often, we'll have an "as needed" dose every hour as you need it. We'll start with 5 mg and raise it slowly if you need it. If you seem agitated,we'll give you Ativan (lorazepam) every 4 hours around the clock. We'll give you a scopolamine derivative (Levsin, or atropine drops) to dry up any secretions, and we'll turn you on your side to drain the saliva you can no longer swallow. You will be sleeping 22-24 hours/day, and even though you will not be conscious, we will talk to you, reassure you, and have your loved ones visit. When you do pass, it will be in a state of peace & comfort. We'll come pronounce you, (PA, USA) and we'll gently wash you, dress you in a fresh hospital gown, and we'll wait with you till the mortuary staff comes.
If I was your hospice nurse, before they take you away, I would kiss you on your forehead and say, "Fly free, sweet angel." You will hear me, because hearing is the last sense to leave our bodies. Please don't be afraid. If you have hospice, you will be okay. ❤😇❤

Yaffaleh82 karma

We got in touch and so did our recipients, eventually. They had a harder time with it at first & wouldn't open communication till they hit the "five year mark", and ALL of them were terrified that they'd die and traumatize us MORE. Once they realized that wasn't the case, we've stayed in touch. They are the lights of our lives. It's been almost 14 years next month. Sending you SO. MUCH. LOVE. ❤

Yaffaleh57 karma

Holland is a legal RTD (right to die) country is all I know of Europe's RTD areas. I am a hospice nurse in the US. Please, get hospice in. PM me ANYTHING you want to know or ask. I am so very sorry, but I can help if you have need of me. Sending love, prayers, peace and an overriding sense of calm your way. ❤😥