WorldlyDuck3 karma2019-02-06 20:02:40 UTC
I have the same 2 diseases. 30 now and had them since I was in my teens. Dont need a transplant yet but it seems to be inevitable and I've been through all the pre-transplant screening and testing so that things are ready in case my condition goes south suddenly or I get liver cancer or something.
The uncertainty around all of this is ruining my life. It's constantly in the back of my mind and surfaces every time I need to make any sort of life decision. I am absolutely terrified of having the transplant and not because I'm afraid of death, but because I'm afraid that all roads and all outcomes from the transplant will result in me suffering, and the only variation between outcomes is just how much suffering there will be (and I already feel like I suffer a fair bit as a result of UC). A big part of me doesnt even want to go through with it but I feel obligated not to just give up on life for the sake of my family, my wife, my dog, etc. and potentially any kids I might have by the time I need to have this done.
So I guess my question is, is there anything you can tell me that might make me feel even slightly better about this? I feel like I desperately need someone to tell me something to the effect of, "Of course this procedure is serious, it's a big deal, etc. BUT it's not nearly as big, bad and awful as you think"
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