Recently I was on break at work and went to get some food. On my way back, I was walking down the street, absorbed in my phone. Now the standard thing I do and I'm sure a lot of other people do is just to maintain spatial awareness - don't wanna run into cars or anything. Wherever there's movement caught in the periphery of my vision, I'll look up to make sure I'm not gonna hit anything. As I was walking, the presence of a nearby person who used a wheelchair with her friend going up a hill caused me to glance up. This person has some physical irregularities that I can't really put my finger on, but anyway, I walked past her and in exactly the same flippant way that I didn't pay attention to anyone else, I looked at her and made eye contact, and then strolled past her looking at my phone again.
When I walk past able bodied people and make eye contact normally I think nothing of it. When I walk past a person who has a disability or anyone who looks peculiar, odd, or unusual, the natural instinct is just to observe a little more closely out of idle curiosity.
When looked down at my phone again, I was cursing myself for not just smiling warmly at the girl - it made me feel like all I had done is acknowledged her disability and walked on my smug, able-bodied way.
I feel like I should have just smiled, but then I wouldn't smile at anyone else on the street for no good reason - so why would I smile at a person with a disability? I feel like it might compensate for the fact that idle curiosity leads to "staring" or making eye contact, and then there's an awkwardness that follows.
How do you feel to be on the receiving end of that and is there anything I can do better?
VivaTequila31 karma
I have an anecdote and a follow up question.
Recently I was on break at work and went to get some food. On my way back, I was walking down the street, absorbed in my phone. Now the standard thing I do and I'm sure a lot of other people do is just to maintain spatial awareness - don't wanna run into cars or anything. Wherever there's movement caught in the periphery of my vision, I'll look up to make sure I'm not gonna hit anything. As I was walking, the presence of a nearby person who used a wheelchair with her friend going up a hill caused me to glance up. This person has some physical irregularities that I can't really put my finger on, but anyway, I walked past her and in exactly the same flippant way that I didn't pay attention to anyone else, I looked at her and made eye contact, and then strolled past her looking at my phone again.
When I walk past able bodied people and make eye contact normally I think nothing of it. When I walk past a person who has a disability or anyone who looks peculiar, odd, or unusual, the natural instinct is just to observe a little more closely out of idle curiosity.
When looked down at my phone again, I was cursing myself for not just smiling warmly at the girl - it made me feel like all I had done is acknowledged her disability and walked on my smug, able-bodied way.
I feel like I should have just smiled, but then I wouldn't smile at anyone else on the street for no good reason - so why would I smile at a person with a disability? I feel like it might compensate for the fact that idle curiosity leads to "staring" or making eye contact, and then there's an awkwardness that follows.
How do you feel to be on the receiving end of that and is there anything I can do better?
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