VikingBlast

Donating to my dad???

I'm really glad you posted this. In the last year my dad's had a really shit string of situations hit him. He's diabetic and has heart disease, is 73, and had to have a toe amputated after it went gangrene. The antibiotics he was on were so powerful that they knocked his kidneys out and now he's on dialysis 3 days a week for 4 hours a day. He is pretty miserable.

I didn't even know that a transplant was an option at first, but suddenly he let me know that a not-so-close relative was interested in donating. We don't know if he's a match. I don't even know if I would be a match. At first I just felt guilty because I didn't jump to donate, but it's marinated in my mind a while and this is where I'm at (would love to get your guys' thoughts)...

And before I go into this, I feel like this situation has defined my alignment and I think I'm lawful neutral. I don't feel good about the way I feel, believe me, but it is the way I feel. Anyways...

I want to stay healthy and I'm scared of donating. I know you don't need both, but what if one of my 3 kids does some day? Or my wife? What if I get an infection and put my family's well-being in jeopardy? I'm the only bread winner.

My dad has a number of other things set against him at this point. He didn't take care of himself and I've only recently started taking care of myself and lost 30 pounds. What if I fall back into my old routine as an effect of the surgery? I know he's not going to suddenly take care of himself, so at best, I feel like this is only going to prolong things... what, a couple of years? (Haven't looked into this.) What if the transplant surgery is just too much for him? He's already had a hard time healing from a toe surgery... what about something massive like this? Is it riskier for him to have the transplant than not?

Anyways, I know I'm going to get slammed for being selfish. I totally get it. I feel that way about myself, a little disgusted, but this seems like such a huge thing to me that I'm kind of burying my head in the sand. I know he doesn't stand a chance of making it on a list. Not at his age with his conditions.

Any thoughts, Reddit?

Good point. I don't think I'm pre-diabetic, but I haven't had a physical in a while. I think that's a totally reasonable suggestion. Thanks!

Didn't think of that! Honestly, I am a scaredy-cat and I think I would give in the second they ask me to put a gown on. The only thing close to surgery I've ever had was a vasectomy.