Verdei

If the quality of your date hinges on whether or not you pay then I would say it wasn't going well to begin with.

They banned abortion because Ceaucescu wanted to increase the population from 21 million to 30 million by a certain deadline. He got as close as 27 million before the Revolution.

Too bad most of those kids ended up in shitty orphanages because they were unwanted or their families couldn't afford to take care of them.

I understand, but I think the reverse could be argued as well since your date would face repercussions from not adopting the new norm. A date could be going well, but if she takes offense to you not paying for the entire dinner, then she loses out as well. If this happens enough she would be forced to adapt to the new standard.

As you said before, its a collective action issue: the majority of men should stop abiding by the norm, as do the majority of women.

Edit: I'd like to add that from my experience, the norm has already shifted. I won't say that the majority go dutch, but I think a good amount of people split checks on dates, or trade off on who pays, eg: "you get this round, I'll get the next"

I really don't understand the amount of sympathy in this thread. Am I the only one who is suspicious of a guy who claims to have mental issues AND had a restraining order against him? I know reddit likes to play the MRS card, and demonize his ex, but this guy is raising too many red flags for me to enthusiastically believe he was sent to a maximum security prison for not paying enough in child support.

Edit: for clarification, the last part should read "sent to maximum security for ONLY his child support violation." I think there's more to the story that likely made a judge unsympathetic and sent him to a max security prison with lifers instead of a minimum security prison.

I try to make it clear that they shouldn't feel obligated to pay for me, but if they're particularly insistent then I'll let them, or try to find another compromise. Maybe split the meal, but let him buy coffees after or a drink so he's not spending too much.