UnsubstantiatedClaim

Any dad with toddlers is also a master defender of random dick punches.

The sad reality is that in today's world, Miss Frizzle would be jailed for kidnapping and endangering.

Once again we learn that the law cares not for science.

Were the people buying your food? Were you handing out samples for your food business?

I think if none of this was done as part of a commercial enterprise this bylaw doesn't apply to handing out food because it's fun to do.

Edit, stop quoting me the "OR" it says sampling of any materials, merch, food, bev. These aren't samples. Again this suggests a commercial entity to me who is handing out samples of their products.

Edit2: stop quoting me the "distribution." Distribution implies a commercial organization that is making their product available to the public.

Here is a definition from the ordinance I present to you that I think you should all take to heart:

Excrement shall mean waste matter discharged from the body of any living thing.

What is your favorite food to hand out?

You have it backwards. The Amanda Show sketch predates the adult video. The porn is referencing the show.