Twohundertseventy

That's an amusing double entendre on your name. Harvard Crimson being the Harvard college newspaper, but also the color of your sweat.

Index-Match tends to be a bit slower in my experience. It's obviously necessary if you want to do a vlookup "to the left", if you get my drift, but for a standard two-column search VLOOKUP is far superior imho.

Don't forget MID! Major life-saver.

I'll throw in my favorite one (it's very dark humor, though), in case you want to remember a good oldie from 2001:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/northern-irish-serbs-hutus-granted-homeland-in-wes,305/

/per capita/. There's lots of medicaid payments in red states too.