Toofgib

Hello Dr. Jess. In theme of orgasm day I think I have a question but it requires a bit of background info. The question is mainly out of interest, I am also in the proces of exploring other sources on it.

Due to my (m) handicap (spina bifida), nerves (pudendal nerve) from the sacral part of my spine connected my penis glans are probably not connected properly to my brain. Meaning that I can not actually feel anything in that area. I can, however still have an erection and ejaculation with feeling of the orgasm but with no feeling before that. So to get there I need to rely on my psychogenic ability (The vagus nerve is still intact) to "enjoy the journey" towards the orgasm.

No my question is: It is a bit of an insecurity for me personally. Now, there are surgical procedures improve my condition, however I have heard the argument that I should not necessarily get it fixed because someone who would truly love me in a relationship would be able to help me accept my condition as is. What would be your tak on this situation?

Yeah, it is kind of like unsolicited advice. As someone with a disability I often get people approaching me to do things I can very well do myself.

That's an interesting title, based on that. What are your views on unsolicited help? That would be, helping before asking or asking but helping regardless of the response.

Thank you very much for your reply.

A. That is not something I can't tell because I do not know how the physical factors would be for me because they are absent at this moment. If psychogenic factors are stronger then I would be willing to accept that. It is however difficult for me to know because I can't compare the two because the physical part is absent. This in term makes it difficult to decide.

B. The "accept" part was more meant as me being able to accept how I am but I understand my partner would not just accept me, it would be more than that and I would have to love her back at least equally as much. I have not heard of that campaign but I will have a look at it, thanks.

C. As far as I have read there aren't any risks to the procedure. I however can not tell whether I would enjoy sex with a partner. Everything I know so far has been from reading and masturbation. And as mentioned at A. I can't really compare the two factors because one of them is absent.

You might have some kind of over-stimulation which can lead to insensitivity. Try doing the exact opposite of that. No porn (still masturbation by natural means) and start weightlifting and/or jogging.