Throwawayconfident

Hello! What would you say to a guy who has the exact opposite problem?

I've always been shy and "nice". I've never done anything crazy, anything illegal or anything cool. Instead of having a horrible relationship with my parents, I've had a good relationship with them. I've grown up to be a 19 year old man in a complete bubble. I literally feel like a child. I haven't done even the normal "teenage stuff". Never been in a fight, never had a girlfriend, never tried drugs etc etc.

I want to do these things. Sure, being emphatic and intelligent is good, but not when you are an energetic, fun loving teenager.

I mean heck, intellectually I understand that I am an adult. I could apply for a job, get a driver's license, mock about in public drunk and whatever have you. But I'm scared to do these things because of how I view myself. Instead of everyone else being side characters in my life, I am a side character in everyone else's life. In my mind, at this age, I should feel like I'm the king of the world, hitting on the ladies, stirring up trouble, doing slightly illegal shady things (without hurting anyone). I'm just nothing...

A month or so ago I got really scared that my life will always be boring. Been to a psychotherapist 3 times now, and while it has made me feel a little better, it also has made me realize how completely pathetic I am at the moment. When I complain that I've wasted my carefree teenage years doing nothing, she says that I should look at the future, and how everything will get better now that I'm finally talking to someone.

It sounds good, but I just don't understand how a complete pussy like me can ever become confident when I currently basically fear everything and feel inferior to everyone. What if I will forever be this shy mess of a boy?

Have you worked with people like me? People who, instead of being aggressive/mistreated/depressed, think super lowly of themselves even though they've had a great upbringing? Is it common for teens to feel like they are more childish than their peers to the extent of it hindering all aspects of life?

Sorry for the long ramble. I'm basically asking you to do your job free here so....yeah.

Just needed to get it out.

You are doing an incredibly important job. During the last couple of years I've realized how fucked up mentally people can get. Keep at it! :)

Thanks for the reply!

I've heard the saying and of course it does make sense. It's the rational thing to do. The problem is that even starting a hobby is practically impossible for me because I feel inferior to everyone. I've been in the background for so long that I need people to look up at me and say "that guy is cool/funny/strong/handsome."

I have such an insane obsession of being independent and respected by others. I assume that whenever someone looks at me, they see an insecure kid. The crazy thing is that even if it was true, why does it matter to me so much!? Skinnier/fatter/younger people than me are totally fine with who they are, whereas I hate who I am at the moment.

I can't even find the words to describe how I'm feeling. I've rewritten this comment like 10 times already. I just...I'm so irrationally afraid of everything.

Is it even possible to become a self confident, proud man after growing up in boredom, safety and insecurity?