Highest Rated Comments

Thompson_S_Sweetback359 karma

What's the worst bachelor party you've seen?

Thompson_S_Sweetback311 karma

I'd want gin, but I wouldn't want anyone else to have gin.

Thompson_S_Sweetback238 karma

You'd better pee within two minutes or the grease will seal your urethra.

Thompson_S_Sweetback214 karma

I had an officer draw a weapon in a deposition.

Is there more to this story? I'd like to hear what happened next. Did the judge have anything to say about it?

Thompson_S_Sweetback155 karma

I had a profound experience watching the Yo Gabba Gabba live show. There were all these exhausted parents there with extremely young children who were way too ffocused on dancing and having a good time, while the kids mostly checked out after five minutes. After the first intermission, we made our way up to the mostly empty balcony, because watching the backs of ten rows of parents stand and hold their kids up was no fun.

Biz Markie came out for Biz's beat of the day, and invited every child who wanted to to come up. About fifty parents pushed their kids on stage, Biz asked them to do a unique rhythm, and all 50 of them just breathed heavily into the mic. Finally Biz did some call and response with the audience, where he said something and we said it back, when unexpectedly he let out,

"Oh baby you! You got what I need!"

And all the parents of the room cried out,

"But you say he's just a friend! But you say he's just a friend!"

And in that moment, it was like Biz was saying to each of us, "Hey, do you remember when I was young and cool?" And we all said, "yeah!"

And then we all said to Biz, "Hey, Biz, do you remember when we were young and we were cool?" And he said, "Yeah, I remember."