TheRobertWeiss

Word up: Men and women look at sex differently. We have brain science, biological evidence and eons of cultural data that tells us that men tend to view sex in a more objectified manner than women. Men tend to be more engaged and satisfied by looking at body parts (porn) as a means of excitement than women do. Women like body parts (porn) too but the scenario of what turns them on is more complex. When I think of women and porn I don't think about three minute hardcore porn that is typical of men to enjoy. I think about Twilight, True Blood, 50 Shades, etc. Women like porn but it also needs to have a relational element to it. Here's the deal: A man may want to get off on viewing a hardcore non-relational porn site. But that doesn't mean he doesn't think you're sexy and doesn' want to have sex with you or you're not good enough. So here's the important part: It's not if your man looks at porn or doesn't but more is his looking at porn affecting your sexual intimacy as a couple, is he less available to you as a man/person, does he expect you to do things he sees in porn that makes you uncomfortable or most importantly is he lying to you that he looks or how often. In the hundreds of couples I've treated for the pain of relationship betrayal there appears to be one universal truth. The deepest pain occurs not because the person cheated or had sex with someone else (but that sucks.) The greatest pain is the lying, it's the feeling that if you're doing that and I didn't know it what else are you lying about. I would rather have a partner who tells me what they're doing with porn than one who hides it. However, it's not okay for someone to dismiss your concerns by simply saying I like this and too bad. Even if your concerns are unfounded meaning he's being completely honest with you and it isn't affecting your couples intimacy then he should accept the fact that it upsets you nonetheless and should be open to change his behavior based on what you're feeling. Your feelings should be more important than the porn.

To ask that question is the same to me as asking what is the difference between someone who enjoys drinking and an alcoholic. Sex addicts like alcoholics are not seeking the same satisfaction from the pursuit of sex as someone who is enjoying the sex. Sex addicts seek emotional escape, mood shift via the search for sex. and ultimately sex addiction is not about sex at all, it's about losing your self in the hunt, the search and the fantasy.

There is actually a great deal of study internationally about compulsive and addictive sexual behavior. These are legitimate brain science and behavioral studies carried out at places like Cambridge in London and Harvard. I suggest looking up the names Valerie Voon and Marty Kafka for more research related information.

Actually there are many people who chose to be faithful not because cheating isn't an option as you say cheating is easier than it ever was before to do and to hide. But, relationship commitment, integrity and honesty with your spouse which ultimately bring about deep meaningful connection will never go out of style. Keep the faith

This is a great question. And my answer is, how many drinks make a alcoholic.? How many hands of black jack make a compulsive gambler? In other words we really don't define addiction in quantitative terms but rather qualitative terms. It's not about how much sex you have or how much you drink. Defining addiction relates to how functional is your life not how many often. Are the substances you use or the behaviors you enjoy enhancing and supporting your life as you wish to live it or taking you down? Just like everybody has their own limits around eating, exercise, sleep, we all have our own rhythms around sex. I see many couples who are concerned that they're either having too much or too little sex. My concern is more "are you happy?" Because there is no number that is too much or too little in that way