TheNoelFielding

I played the Sydney Opera House and there was someone there dressed as a piece of french toast who says "no" which cropped up in one episode of Luxury Comedy. I couldn't work out who it was supposed to be and I kept making suggestions and the person dressed up as the french toast kept replying "no" which was a clue for me to understand who the character was. This went on for half an hour and became the highlight for the show. I love my fans but they're all insane. As are you. Never contact me again.

yes, if course I have! I'm Ol Greg. Motherlicker I go to clubs where people wee on each other.

Where in Florida are you? I would love to play everywhere in America and hopefully I'll reach you all eventually. If I can't play where you live on this tour I'll make sure that I come down your chimney like a gothic Santa in the middle of the night and spoon you like a creepy half man half tarantula.

You're still young. Don't panic. It's hard to know what you should be doing in your 20s. Try different things, have some fun and see what happens. I believe in fate. I didn't set out to be a comedian at first. I'm still not sure if I am or not. People like to put you a box. I've always been the wrong shape Maybe you are too. I think all the people who are wrong shapes for boxes should go out and march into the streets singing "We are the shapes! We don't fit the box. Fuck you society." You can't put a square peg in a round hole or a wrong shape in a box. Unless it's a coffin and that particular shape has recently been murdered.

Depends. On a good day none. On a bad day 24 hours. Over the years I've trained my hair to do what I say and it's usually well behaved. I often reward my hair with special treats when it pleases me. Back in the 70s I once made love to my own hair in front of a second hand lorry whilst a priest looked on. She was nonplussed.