TheGreatPastaWars

One of my biggest aspirations in life is to be able to eat an entire turkey without chewing.

What?

Gif courtesy of /u/StickleyMan

You seem pretty ageless, too. You guys can join a supergroup with John Stamos where you fight crime through music, skating, and exceptional beauty.

Ugh. Next thing you're going to tell me is that you're some sort of rapper.

She's so rugged that her 5 o'clock shadow results in a full mustache.