Taniwha_NZ

Please do Arabic first... I can imagine the reaction to a British transvestite doing an Arabic-language stand-up tour of US venues.

The right-wing media would erupt in apoplectic predictions of end-times. It would be beautiful.

I remember my father gave me a book for my birthday, way back when I was 13 or so. It was called 'Big Secrets' and promised to tell me everything that I wasn't supposed to know - the recipe for Coke, and KFC... how to break common types of locks... and of course all the secrets of the Freemasons.

It was an interesting book, and it did contain a bunch of truth. I followed the instructions on committing credit card fraud, and got 200 tickets to a Dire Straits concert by fishing for discarded credit-card slips in the dumpster outside a department store. (This was so long ago, I'm talking about the 3-part carbon slips they used in the old 'zip-zap' credit card imprint machines that I haven't seen in 20 years or more.)

Anyway, the Freemason stuff was in there, and from what I've learned since, it was all accurate and went right to the very top levels. The main thing is that freemasonry in the modern day doesn't really have any great secrets, except for the weird rituals associated with moving to higher levels within the organisation. Go back 200 years, and Masonic lodges were full of secret dealings and plans, and were a great way for powerful men who should be enemies to get together in secret and decide how best to maintain their power through cartels.

Back when the USA was still young, Freemasonry went through periods of popularity, where it grew very quickly, until it got too big and people started suspecting them of all sort of collusion. Then the government would step in and lots of lodges would be raided, and closed, and the movement would shrink and get more secretive. Then everyone would forget about them, and it would start growing again, and so on. At some times, 80% of members of congress were masons, and it would seem impossible to get anywhere in society if you weren't one. But there are also plenty of very famous politicians who hated freemasonry and would never join.

That pattern of growth, public paranoia, then shrinking, had occurred in Europe many times over many centuries, going all the way back to the founding of the first Masonic lodge. I guess the public will always be worried about an organisation that is completely dedicated to secrecy about itself, as long as that organisation is large enough to appear to wield power over the citizenry.

In modern-day freemasonry, there may still be unpleasant secrets at the very top, or there may still be particular lodges that are used by local businessmen to establish anti-competitive behaviour in secret. There may also be lodges where rich criminals can talk freely to judges and senior police without worrying about jail.

But there is no longer any over-arching conspiracy that informs the entire organisation. Masonic activities are likely to be charity drives for local good causes or similar community-centred activities, rather than plots to gain control over the government and reap enormous profits from secret agreements.

Honestly, I'm quite surprised that this thread even exists, because I don't think most people really even care about Masonic secrets and rituals. Full details have been available online for as long as 'online' has existed. We even know the facts about the Illuminati now, which was an uber-secret group within freemasonry when it was first created by Adam Weisshaupt, a Bavarian, back in 1770-something.

Still, I can't help but scan this thread to make sure the OP didn't let anything slip that would be previously unknown. I don't know why, but the subject still interests me.

No, it was a total Mad ripoff. I do like the cracked website but it must really stick in Alfred E Neuman's craw that Mad seemed to not 'get' the Internet at all. Still don't.

You only need to take the briefest glance in a history book to see endless examples of this tactic working. It might not make rational sense, and 9 times out of 10 you will be ignored... but the one time it works is well worth it.

The squeaky wheel gets the oil, as they say.

It's a pretty common word for writers to use in English, as it is like 'prohibited' but a bit more severe.

It's included in every English dictionary.