Taika Waititi

It's this one I made up.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cabbage. Cabbage who? No second name, it's just a massive cabbage that's been wedged in your doorway and you have no way out except to eat a human shaped hole right through the cabbage. And then, when you get out the other side you discover you're on another planet where humans are food and they're fattened with cabbages.

Definitely. Fucking BLAZED.

Hello! I'm here and will start typing. I went out last night to celebrate inseminating my female companion so my hands are a tiny bit hungover. Luckily the rest of me is perfectly fine, including my brain, which remains unaffected. Please excuse spelling/grammar mistakes. I'm not perfect. Nearly, but not completely.

Okay I OD'd on smack before turning up. Lucky to be alive.

Sorry. I was very sober.

You bamboozled my words!!!

Thank you. Babies are awesome! Until they come out.

It's okay, I secretly didn't want someone to donate 10k. It's a lot of pressure and there's a flaw with that reward. You have to get yourself to NZ which kinda sucks. No one in NZ has 10k so it has to be someone from here (states) - it should be called the $12,568 pledge.

New Zealanders are desperate to be liked by other people which is why we try really hard. A lot of us will never escape that distant island so we max out on escapism.

Taik-wan-do.

Good.

I'm behind you.

Cabbaaaaaage.

I think you are my favourite on this page today. I kinda wish this was true - I could use the exposure.