T_WRX21

I don't know what they're made of now, but I've definitely patrolled with my dick out when we wore ACUs.

I fell out of the back of a Stryker once (more than once) and on this occasion ripped the crotch out of my ACUs. And this was Iraq, and we'd been there for months, so it was the fucking Amazon jungle down there. Looked like an oddly pale pencil poking through a Brillo pad, I imagine.

Anyway, to make the situation worse, we were doing cordon and knocks in a predominantly Muslim country, and you can't be doing that witcha dick out. So the cordon and knock turns into a cordon and knock and try to find a needle and thread. Well we didn't, but an oddly giggly child delivered literally the worst solution to this problem, I'm assuming by his frankly awe inspired Iraqi mother, a safety pin. Last time she saw three inches of American steel like that, it was probably delivered through her living room wall after we drone struck her neighbor.

Anyway, long story short, I stabbed my dick. Multiple stab wounds, delivered at close range. I was hopping over a wall, and the pin popped open, John Lennon-ing my johnson.

So yes, back then at least, American soldiers fought like Chippendales. Ass and dicks out, just trying to pay our way through college.

Self inflicted dick based injuries are oddly outside of the scope of the purple heart.

Nah, just a lot of blood, and a substantial amount of masturbation. Err...to make sure everything worked. Yeah. For science.

What can the average American do to help facilitate wellness in Africa?

I actually have a subscription for the elite tier. It's saved me A LOT more than it cost. I normally take trips 1-2 times a year with a family of three, and it's way more than paid for itself so far. YMMV of course.