SpidersandSkulls

• mad hatter stuffing Alice inside a recycle can (onstage, while kids watched and laughed)
• The Genie (in full costume) running up to Jasmine (also in full costume) pinning her against a wall and proceeding to pretend to have his ahem, way with her while she shrieked with laughter. He did the flexed arm He-Man pose the whole time. This was backstage, of course. *Mad Hatter accidentally pulling Alice's wig off onstage. It got caught on his coat button, he turned one way she turned the other way, and well.... *Me accidentally falling in the Rivers of America, climbing out in front of horrified guests, throwing my hands in the air and yelling "Next show in 14 minutes, thank you!" while my coworkers broke out cheering. *Saw the rope-swinging pirate in the Fantasmic Peter Pan sequence give himself too much rope and hit one of the light poles on the river's edge. *Also Fantasmic: Ariel knocked Eric's wig FLYING with a tail flip. That sucker did a good 15+ foot arc into the water! *Having a large male guest threaten to kill me when I tried to break up a dangerous bottleneck in the crowd that he was causing. Kids were panicking in the crowd so I was serious about it. Mind you, I am small and short and he was easily 6 ft. As soon as he made his threat FIVE plainclothes security guards came out of the woodwork and just swept him away with them. It was magical.
  *Saw an excited disabled kid get out of his wheelchair and stumble-walk to reach a character. Turned out he had never walked before. *Had a crazy woman shove me to me out of her way so she could get another pic of her kid in the parade (this was a 'dance troupe mom' and they are a NIGHTMARE every time.) I was 7 months pregnant at the time and went to my knees. A bunch of other guests flew at the mom in a rage and chewed her out while other guests helped me up and hollered for security. My lead got there and chewed her out too. :) *Have seen countless proposals in front of the castle. Most ended well. One night there were six in a row. Saw one gal shout "I've known you a month!" and run away.
  *Seen Johnny Depp chilling in a break area/smoking area backstage with other castmembers. *have caught idiots out of their ride vehicles or doing other such stupid shit on rides on many occasions, and I screw with them mentally every single time before handing them over to security. *I've gone into Peter pan's Flight after closing and played Godzilla in the miniature London town scene. 8) *Have caught 32 apple stealers on Snow White. Yes, I keep track. *I am known for being funny at work. Made a guest laugh too hard - he puked. *have seen main street flood over the curbs (ducks swam down the street...) which culminated in a castmember clocking out, going to Main St, whipping out a folded floaty ring from his backpack, blowing it up and casually floating down the street to the main entrance while guests in rainboots laughed their asses off. *Caught guests doing adult things on a ride via the camera system right before closing. I got on the in-ride PA system and softly said "Sorry folks but there is no eating allowed on the rides. Thank you." *I could go on...

how about Tweedle Dee getting stuck upside down in the wishing well at Snow White's Grotto by the castle? Hope the quarter was worth it, buddy.

Or when a guest snuck onto the back of T. Sawyer's island and put one of the fake bucks on top of the fake does in a compromising position, in full view of the passing Mark Twain...and it stayed that way ALL DAY?

Saw a guest sidle up to a male trolley horse on Main St and discreetly fondle his 'stallion part' then hurry away.

An opossum getting inside the Alice ride at night and causing the ride to E-stop and go haywire, trapping guests inside not once, twice but three times. Couldn't figure out what was wrong until the animal was spotted on the security cameras.

Once had a kid puke in the queue at Pinocchio. It was a hot day and that queue is enclosed and kinda cramped. The stink spread fast and caused a domino effect of puking that rippled through the whole line. By the time the cleanup crew arrived everyone had fled the queue by any means possible and the floor was a swamp of partially digested Disney goodies.

Had a kid break his leg after deliberately taking a flying leap off the back of his carousel horse while his parent turned away after the ride was over. Didn't think enough happy thoughts, kiddo.

One coworker had a female guest fly into a rage because her kids saw "two ducks doing it." Worse yet according to her "they were both boy ducks." To which my coworker replied "well, this IS the happiest place on earth." Love that guy.

Saw the Beast lose his tail in the castle moat...and then fall in trying to get it back.

Have broken up more fist fights between angry dads than I care to count...I may be small in stature, but if you start a fight that scares the little kids and I will verbally smack you into time-out!

Saw Flynn Rider lose his shit while being comforted by other castmembers backstage because a terminal make-a-wish kid asked him what it was like to die. (as per the end of the movie where the character 'dies' and is resurrected - kid wanted to know what to expect when his own time came.)

Asked guest not to climb over the rail to join his party in a line three times, as we have a gate he can use just a little further down. He kindly told me to eff off. Not three seconds later he lost his balance and fell on his ass (Nothing serious.) In my best Disney-cheer voice I said "And what did we learn?" His group absolutely roared their approval.

While greeting at an attraction I briefly entertained and talked with a cute little girl who told me her name was Blue. I called her Blueberry because "you're cute, sweet and a bit of a fruit, like me" and she got a kick out of it. After she left with her family my coworker said "dude that was Beyonce, and that was her kid." Me: ".....oh."

We once had a high guy go into the treehouse shortly before closing, strip his shirt off and go into full Tarzan mode. He climbed out onto the tree's branches with security after him while crowds gathered below to watch. I was there along with some other CMs, just to see what was going on. Some guests were worried, some amused, at least two yelled "Jump!" and I oh so desperately wanted to follow that with a shout of "Do a flip!" But alas, I like my job.

I was driving a small crowded boat. The boat was in water. It was spring. Two ducks flew into my boat - one chasing the other - landed smack in the center of said boat and proceeded to violently mate while all of my guests stared in shock from about a foot away.

Saw a female guest steal a duckling from a mama duck and put it in her purse. Mama duck attacked the woman and beat the shit out of her up and down Main St. Comedy gold.

Driving a boat again. Pointed out a small crawfish to some kids (it had crawled out of one of our many waterways and was sitting at the water's edge) Said "look kids, it's Sebasatian!" Hey, all crustaceans look alike to me. The words were barely out of my mouth when a seagull swooped down and snatched the crawfish. Parents started laughing. Me: ".....aaaaand Scuttle just came to take him back to the ocean, yay!" As I drove my boat on I started humming 'Circle of Life' to myself (still on the PA system) and all the parents completely lost it.

I have two - one sweet, one funny.

The sweet one was when Cinderella was on her way out by the corndog wagon on Main St. She paused to see a couple more kids and started to exit through the gate there. It was the end of the day so she was done with her shift. Anyway this little boy with his leg in a cast up to the knee had just wheeled up and barely missed her. He got up from his wheelchair, took a few tottering steps after her with his arms held out, burst into tears and sobbed "noooo princess don't goooo!" She immediately turned just inside the gate door, went right to him, knelt and took him into her arms - and spent several minutes of her walk-time with him. =)

*2: I saw a delighted 3-4 year old girl run full speed past Rapunzel (the tot glanced at her and was like NOPE NOT YOU!) to charge right into Flynn Rider's open arms. He was some 10 feet behind Rapunzel and this girl was all 'a princess? Ain't nobody got time for that!' He saw her coming and knelt to get a hug. She didn't slow down when she reached him and his expression switched to 'oh shit' an instant before she ran full tilt into him. She bowled him over onto his back and ended up perched on his chest like a happy little bird. He was all HALP SOMEONE PRY HER OFF WITH A FRYING PAN, and the guests were laughing, the castmembers were laughing and Rapunzel was like "FTS, I am chopped liver to that child, you are on your own."

Making things a little more flexible for castmembers that have young kids or other dependents. I've seen too many castmembers who had to quit or have been fired for calling out to care for a sick kid or elderly parent. FMLA is not available to everyone, it has to be earned first. My kid slashed his hand open at a playground and needed a lot of stitches...could I get out of work for ONE four-hour evening shift the same day since I was at the ER with him? Nope...come in or get dinged for it! Mind you I'm on the phone with work while my kid is screaming in the background. Anyway...

Here's a couple more.

At a Halloween party 2 years ago a guy dressed as Thor was clearly drunk. The carousel was closed for a big refurb was was completely walled off. 'Thor' ran up to the carousel, yelled "I NEED A HORSE!!!" realized it was closed and proceeded to pitch a fit that involved attacking a trash can (ineffectively) with his hammer.

Some guy got high on speed (I think?) and stripped naked, got backstage, climbed a ladder behind the main st building and went running across the Main st rooftops in full view of the guests below. Security caught him and got him down and backstage again...but he got away from them and ran into the lost children's center through a back door. If they have lost kids there who are upset we will often have a character come in to entertain and comfort them. Well, Snow White was there meeting a couple of kids. The drugged fruit loop man ran into the room buck naked and tackled her with a mob of security guards on his heels. I still wonder who footed the kids' therapy bills.

Saw a young woman calmly buy a corndog, perch herself atop a trash can, eat her corn dog, them stick a hand down her shorts and pleasure herself (loudly) to orgasm. Even our most seasoned security guards were at a loss.