SolidBones

Hello fellow bereaved parents

We learned out first child had a series of brain anomalies not compatible with life before birth and chose to have a late term abortion. We've since had two children who are doing fine, but there was a 3 year gap in between.

During that time, we were left with a problem: children who've lost all parents are "orphans", but parents who've lost all children have no title. We didn't feel right calling ourselves parents....but what were we? What was I supposed to say if people asked if I had any children or planned to have any (which happened a lot)?

What terms have you heard people use? What terms do you use? How do you answer these questions? I feel this would also be helpful to people who have tried and lost.

How do you feel about your donor being anonymous? Do you miss or grieve for wanting to thank their family? Or is it a relief?

You're fucking welcome because you deserve it, studly!

Sincerely--

--girls

You stole some of those words right out of my head. Especially about not wanting to ruin people's days. The nice old lady at the register in the grocery store is someone I really don't want to regale my story to. She's just making small talk, and I don't want to make it big talk.

For some reason I expected this website to open a page that just says "No you don't. Stop it."