ShanBoodyInaPark_YMT

Shan: This concern being SO common is both a gift and a curse. It’s a gift because (I hope you know) that a decrease in libido is likely to happen to people at some point in their life for a variety of reasons. It’s a curse because (like you’ve experienced) many people will brush it off and say “it happens to almost everyone, don’t worry about it.” But, you have every right to be upset and to want solutions for you, so kudos to you for not giving up! I often say that desire ebbs and flows between being a rollercoaster, where you just sit back and enjoy the thrills, or a push-cart where you have to manually move every inch yourself. It sounds like you’re going through a push-cart phase and knowing that is half the battle so take all the standard advice you can to see what works, but also I’d like to try a different formula that I recently read about that I thought was interesting! To jump start your drive again, see if this helps: 1) take sex off the table for 30 days with both your partner and yourself *poof pressure gone* 2) Set an intention for at least 15 minutes of touch each day that is pleasurable but not necessarily arousing 3) Both you and your partner(s) need to do something separate and exciting just for you once a week 4) Start sexting... every chance you get and start talking about sex any chance you get. This creates an environment designed to help you get sexually charged and frustrated (a winning combo) + it gives you time to reflect on your sexual fantasies and untapped desires. Again, there’s no one-size-fits-all suggestion to solving the libido conundrum, but there are a lot of tried and tested options so have fun finding what works for you.

Dr Park here! No, chicken pox and oral herpes are caused by different viruses, (although they are closely related) having one should not cause you to test positive for the other.

IP: Yes, you can definitely spread oral herpes to the genitals if you give your partner oral sex.  If you have a sore on your lips/mouth, wait until the sore is completely healed before giving your partner oral sex.  The virus sheds the most during an active outbreak.  

IP: On a personal note, as a busy working mom, I totally identify with your feelings.  I think this is incredibly common.  It’s really hard right now with the pandemic going on, but if you can, carve out time with just you and your partner without kids, that is so key to reconnect and enjoy each other to feel close, which means sex will feel like less of a thing to check off your to-do list.  Some friends/patients have enjoyed using lubes with cannabis or others that warm up and increase blood flow to the genitals. Incorporating toys or a vibrator into your play can make it more fun as well.

Dr. Park here! Yes, there’s a way to take anti-HIV medication after exposure to prevent catching HIV. It’s called Post Exposure Prophylaxis, or PEP. You take three medications after exposure for 28 days, and that’s highly effective in preventing HIV after exposure. Starting it right away is best, but you have up to 72 hours after exposure to start. You’ll need an HIV test prior to starting, and if you need to find a location to get tested, go to www.yesmeanstest.org. If your closest clinic is closed, you can go to any emergency room.