SaintCaricature

I know the chances of you seeing this question are slim, but I've really been struggling with this feeling. Sorry I couldn't figure out an apolitical way to explain it. I respect others may feel differently, but I will not be replying to anyone looking to debate my positions. I just don't have the energy.

Anyway--

I am overwhelmed by how terrible the world (in my case, the US) seems to be, fundamentally--in contrast to how obviously wonderful it could be. What humans have done with technology and culture is mind-blowing.

But I feel like everything good is being swallowed up by a few powerful, selfish people with no concern for anything that actually matters.

I have previously found comfort in the general trend humanity has toward disenfranchised groups fighting for and incrementally being shown respect (not enough! but the right direction), and increased awareness of issues like climate change. I do believe most people want to do good (whatever that is to them) and would choose compassion if they were informed. But I don't believe most of the people who have power are sufficiently compassionate, or even have the perspective to understand the people over whom they rule. And I'm afraid of how quickly they are amassing and solidifying that power--I'm afraid of them controlling the media. I'm afraid that they will become, or already are, impossible to defy. I'm afraid that we might ruin the planet faster than we can fix it. I can't accept that so much suffering is caused by chasing status and money--propping up egos--I can't understand these priorities.

I want to have hope, but logically I find it very difficult. Everything feels so, so broken.

I talk about these feelings with people. I talk about how sexism affects me. I listen to and believe the experiences of people who aren't like me. I vote. I try to stay informed. But I'm so tired and sad and angry.

Would it be wiser to ignore these feelings since I can't do anything about them? Is there some way to find contentment with just doing my best according to my values since I can only control myself? Is contentment overrated, and being upset is fine since the situation is upsetting?

Honestly I'm scared to share my feelings publicly like this, but I don't know how to deal with them.

I was afraid of getting into an Internet Argument, so the solidarity was a bittersweet surprise for me. Maybe there's still enough power at the bottom for that solidarity to make a difference. It certainly seems better to try, at least.

And I've been meaning to check out Don't Look Up! I'll have to add The Fallout to my list of cathartically-painful-things-to-watch.

It's a game rather than a movie, but Umurangi Generation hit me hard in a similar way.

Thank you so much for the thoughtful response (especially so late into a busy thread)!

That's good advice. I'll have to think on it, especially about ways I can contribute to the good fight rather than stewing in pain over it.

I think today was good and productive. I spent most of it working on my first knitting project. It doesn't do anyone any good on a grand scale, but I do feel better when I'm making something. Actually, I feel better when anyone makes something. Maybe there is something grand scale about encouraging self-expression?

Sorry about the tangent; thank you again! :)

Like there's a bug where cooperation turns off at the higher status levels, yeah.

I'm sorry you had a bad day. I was feeling funky myself (until hours of knitting--now I just feel like my fingertips are numb).

I've been thinking about Professor Carr's response to my question, especially about cyclical history. How we promised to be better and sometimes succeeded. Surely many people who lived through the worst events in history felt hopeless, too, and might have been surprised at our subsequent progress. I just hope we can do it fast enough that there's time to save the planet.

She did!

100% impossible. My feelings aren't always correct, but I painfully implode if I can't even talk them out.

That makes complete sense. If I want other people to be happy, what good is it to be miserable (ostensibly) for their sake? I just wish everyone had a fair shot.