Rolvaag1

Coolest pastor ever

I know it has some irreverent content, but South Park's Santa decimated the forces of evil in the Christmas Critters episode.

The thing about being a non-practicing Christian is that if you still talk to God you're technically a practicing Christian.

I always took to heart that your relationship with your concept of "that gigantic other" should remain a personal one. I also understand the tenets of fellowship Jesus laid forth but I shied away from my church due to the group-think this pastor has described.

Humans, right? Give us something good and we'll f*** it up

Every day I wake up, classical music floating through the coffee scent in my kitchen. As I sip my first cup, I gaze out my window pensively and think:

What can I just utterly ruin today?

Popsickel7 sat down at the computer and cracked his knuckles.

Wonder what's on the interwebs today, he thought absently, as he scrolled past a picture of a cat shooting fire from its eyes.

There's an AMA about a pastor... he clicked. It was interesting. Better than cats shooting fire from their eyes, he decided.

With a shattering crash, a zombie erupted through the window! Popsickel7 leapt towards the closet, where his zombie prevention storage locker resided. He was too late! The zombie was on him, its slavering jaws slackening to take the infectious bite.

"Ho ho ho, mother f***er!" There was a blast from a shotgun. The zombie's brains arced up into the ceiling fan where it was propelled messily around the room in a fantastic overkill.

Popsickel7 opened his eyes to see Santa standing over his fresh kill, shotgun smoking. He spat.

"That's for Blitzen."

Edit: I assumed you're male. Sorry if I got it wrong. =p