ReddyLee

If I understand correct, your foster family will then become your legal guardians? If that's the case, would you consider them to be your parents?

My husband and I chose a childfree lifestyle, but later down the road, we may consider adoption of an older child (age 17 or older). We would be adopting with the intention of fully engaging ourselves emotionally and mentally as parents, but I wondered what it would be like for an older child. (Obviously, you're just one kid, but still would be nice to hear your opinion/thoughts.)

Before deciding to have a childfree life, we actually had begun the adoption process (just the fledgling stages) with the foster system. We both feel strongly that adopting through the foster system is the best option available for having kids. Having kids just isn't right for us personally, but I wish it was. I wish you all the best as you take these new steps. Thanks for sharing your story.

I think your wisdom is aged far beyond your years. :) I think you're right--it is an important step to make sure that both the adoptive parent(s) know the kid(s) well and that the kid(s) know their future parent(s) well, too. Everything I read as part of our preparations emphasized the importance of developing a rapport, not just simply thinking "they'll come home and everything will be magic and sunshine and laughter and we'll live happily ever after, the end." Adoption can be wonderful, and amazing, and all those things, but it is also something to be taken very seriously and requires realistic expectations.

I know that the childfree life is the right path for me (and my husband), but it would be nice to think that we could parent older children, some time down the road. I'm only 30 now, and he's 35, so I feel like we're simply too young (and not ready) to parent late teens/early 20s kids.

I'm so very glad your story has a happy ending. :) Warms my crusty heart. :)

That is right in line with the months and months of research I did on adoption when we were considering it. (We don't get into anything lightly.) :) I have a degree in psychology, so it helped me have a better understanding of the different obstacles at hand. I think the honeymoon phase is the most surprising to new adoptive parents. There's a lot written about it on blogs and I heard about it a lot from other parents I interviewed. It's surprising how little people seem to prepare themselves. To me, I looked at it as though I couldn't prepare enough! I stayed up night after night, reading, writing notes, making plans; it was exhausting. And we were just in the very beginning stage, where you just collect information and start to get mentally prepared for the process.

We eventually decided that having children wasn't right for us, but perhaps in the future, this option will work for us. In any event, I really wish more people would consider older children adoption. They don't know what they're missing!