RealJonStewart

Right?

It's really the height differential that keeps us from consummating.

I would love to answer your question.

But I cannot see it because of the strange watering in my eyes.

I'm not crying. I'm sure it's because my shirt is made of onions.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

My greatest joys on the show were trying to make Stephen break, or the other correspondents. Because you felt as though you had accomplished something somewhat Herculean. It's not easy to tickle those folks, but when it happens, you savor it.

It really was not my intent to be disruptive. I truly thought we'd have a goof about how terrible the program is at the top, and move on, but... the combination of their obstinance and my low blood sugar led to no bueno.

Stephen smells like - it's a cross between -

Squints into distance

Persimmons and a tattered copy of THE HOBBIT.