Rcirae20

I just married the love of my life. We’ve been together for six years all together, but I’ve never been in a relationship with a person who identifies as asexual (which my husband sometimes does).

How do I not have hurt feelings and misconstrue his asexualism for dislike of my body and sexuality?

Also, How do I entice him to be more sexual (to match my needs)?

Thank you, Ms Brisk, for such a well though reply. I don’t expect to change him, I don’t want to. I married him because I love him, with or without sex. I am vocal about my needs to him, and we work through it. I will be seeking out a sex therapist in the near future to get some help.

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. It’s hard to come to terms with not being able to entice, and not take that personally. But I know he loves me and we will continue to talk and work on it.

Yes, thank you for the honest and thoughtful response. Logically, I know he loves me. But emotionally, it can be hard after being in relationships with sex addicts, previously. Although, to be honest, it’s easier to have a relationship with an asexual than it is to have a relationship with a sex addict.

I also try to make sure I communicate with him when I’m feeling more frisky than usual. But much of the time, I satisfy myself and I’m fine with that.

Thank you again.