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Rainyday1564 karma

Strangest pick-up line story heard or experienced?

Rainyday1563 karma

I met this guy at a bar

And just like that, thousands of giraffe-lovers everywhere silently shed a tear.

Well I suppose it won't hurt if I tell you this, seeing as how I'm all the way across the world in an undisclosed location. That, and there's absolutely no way anything I say here will have a real-life impact, save for possibly being a semi-interesting comment from a stranger that you may dwell on for no more than a minute or two if at all.

So-- sometimes I find myself wondering about you. It comes and goes rather sporadically, and always for a few seconds at a time. What you must look like eating ice cream! Or sitting in class. Or drawing your giraffes, and whether or not you stick out your tongue when really concentrating. Sometimes I'll see something on the internet, and think to myself, "I bet Penny would like this!" I also then think that perhaps this is how stalkers are born and freak out for a few moments, followed by reminding myself I really just have innocent, fond feelings for this happy and wonderful person across the globe. Someone that draws these brilliant pictures that always makes me smile.

Of course, wandering thoughts being what they are, every now and then I would let myself daydream a little bit. I have never chased a girl in my entire life. All the romance there ever was for me happened with efforts from both sides of the aisle. However, I imagine if you were somewhere in closer proximity to me I would undoubtedly, unhesitatingly chase you. Well, the idea of chasing someone that may not respond in kind is pretty scary. Quite honestly, even considering the possibility of rejection from you specifically is terrifying. But to hell with it. For someone like you I would try. For the creator of pigs and giraffes (Trevor too!) I would learn to dance, learn to cook your favorite foods, take private guitar lessons and remember how to carry a tune. I'd read lots of complicated books with hopes you may find me interesting. There would even be sewing classes in my future just in case a sock of yours needed repairing. And every morning I'd kill myself running miles and miles, followed by vigorous weight-lifting because doing so, just maybe... you might look at me if only a little.

Now this guy at the bar you met, he must really be something special. At this moment I'm picturing him to be Jesus-esque, with flowing hair and a golden halo 'round his head. He also has a face so ridiculously good-looking that straight men are immediately turned gay in his presence. What I'm saying is, if it were possible to love a complete stranger on the internet, I love you. Me, and all the other sad pandas still recovering from the revelation that you've met someone all do. So whomever you happen to meet in the future, or if you're dating the risen Christ right now, he'd better be willing to do all those things I listed and more. Or he's just not good enough for you. I say this in a completely non-stalkerish, thinking fondly of you from afar, way. You're wonderful, and I would feed you cookies if you let me.

Rainyday1563 karma

Made you cry? Oh no D:

I was going for "mildly distracting", "not really creepy", or even "somewhat engaging in a CSI re-run sort of way". In any case, you're saying there's a chance? O_O Ha ha don't worry, I'm not crazy. While presently I hear a little voice inside shouting for joy at bar guy's misfortunes, I won't randomly show up at your door and will refrain from building a shrine dedicated to you composed of giraffe merchandise mailing envelopes illuminated by custom LED lights. *Ahem * Although I must admit, could not bring myself to throw away the envelope wrapped with your own hands that came with this lovely calendar. It's in a perfectly normal spot though, I promise! Nothing shrine-like at all.

Obviously, I'm a fan of you-- so if you're ever having a bad day just know there's someone out there that would really like to touch your face. I mean, your hair-- wait that's weird umm... thinks you're lovely. Yes. That's totally normal and completely, socially acceptable.

Rainyday1563 karma

Oh no, I'm so late for this! :( I do have one question though, if you're not too busy.

Of all the people you've ever been attracted to, who do you consider the most beautiful and why? Not simply a look you can casually appreciate, but a real desire to be around someone because of the way they are- romantically I suppose. It's fascinating to me who you might find fascinating, as we're all so fond of you.

In any case, thanks for motivating us. Out of countless possibilities on the internet, r/motivatingiraffe is still my favorite.