Rainbowclaw27

Yeah, I wouldn't mind an anonymous photo being taken (with a close focus) but getting more people in the room feels much worse.

Then again, I have given birth, and it felt like half my city saw The Downstairs that day.

I'd guess it's also in case the transplant fails for some reason, you don't find out and feel like it was your fault or that you went through it all for nothing.

Might be a weird question, but has this research had any impact on what you'd prefer to happen to your remains when you die (hopefully after a very long life)?

Not a therapist/psychiatrist etc. Have you heard the term "critical incident stress"? Basically, the idea is that if you experience something upsetting and in the next couple days you are upset, that's critical incident stress. For example, "I was in a car accident yesterday and the idea of getting in a car again is really scary." or "I saw someone get hurt last week and still see it when I close my eyes." An abnormal (compared to your baseline) emotion state or thought process after an abnormal incident. Being upset days and weeks later isn't PTSD; being upset months later is. If care and attention are given to healing, not all trauma becomes PTSD.

You are likely someone who is able to manage critical incident stress more easily than others maybe even to the extent you're not even aware of it, and thus it doesn't become PTSD for you. That's wonderful! If your career is the reason you are exposed to trauma, I'm glad that you are the person in that role, instead of someone who finds it harder to cope.

If I were in your shoes and anyone gave me a hard time, I would say something like, "I have found ways to manage the stress of witnessing trauma and I make sure to take care of myself and do the things I need to do to not burn out or be overwhelmed. I recognize that you're concerned about me but I need you to trust me when I say that I am alright."

That being said, there may come a day (I hope not) where you find yourself steadily or suddenly having a harder time coping. In that case, don't feel bad if you need help that you didn't before. Your limits might be a lot stretchier than others' but they probably do still exist.

Fellow mom here with depression currently "in remission" and a couple thoughts: - First, post partum depression is common, treatable and tends to not last as long as other mental health diagnoses. Depending on where you live, there are probably many community groups that help moms with PPD, with programs like support groups and counselling. - Second, I was worried I wouldn't be able to take anti-depressants and breastfeed, but it is actually safe to do so. My chunky baby is proof. If at any point meds are suggested, they really are worth considering. My meds are basically a shield that keeps my depression away. - Three, the fact that you feel horrified when you think of suicide is actually a really good sign. At my lowest point, I stopped feeling that horror, and that was how I knew I needed help. I definitely still think you should reach out for support but I think your symptoms are more moderate than severe. - Lastly, huge hugs to you mama! It's the hardest and best job for sure.