PyroDesu

A thought: β-Alanine is the next-strongest agonist of the glycine receptor, after glycine itself. The glycine receptor is an inhibitory receptor, and one the most widely distributed in the body. It functions by allowing chloride ions into the nerve, hyperpolarizing it and making it require a higher potential to fire.

It could be that the β-Alanine is inhibiting the signalling from the itch receptors that are being inappropriately activated?

Who's going to pay for this?

The taxpayers, of course. Not the ones actually responsible.

Either that, or it'll just get added to the pile of national debt.

Or maybe we'll go the 'fabricate more money' route and get some good old fashioned inflation going.

Seeing as this thread is somewhat related to OI in the media, are you familiar with the Mass Effect series? The main trilogy has Joker (voiced by Seth Green and lives up to his name) as your pilot, who has OI (although around the second game he can kinda limp around on his own because it's the future and he presumably received some sort of prosthetics so that it's not as bad). It's never really made a prominent thing, but it is interesting.

She's a straight-A student, a musician, and a volleyball player, but whenever she's home it's literally cell phone in one hand, xbox controller in the other.

In other words: Her playing video games is not interfering with her life, is not an "addiction", and why are you so concerned about it? If her grades drop because she can't put the controller down and she starts losing interest in other activities, then some worry might be warranted.

What kind of surgery do you recommend for my wife's friend to get her to remove her head from her ass?

I believe a friendectomy would help here.

Feature pyroclastic flow.