Since I was little I have struggled with sleep. I was always the last one up while my siblings were up with sun id sleep till 1pm if left alone. I’ve had nightmares my whole life as well. I struggled so much with alarm clocks that after my babies were past the toddler age I lost the mothering instinct and slept through anything. I could not get up in time for school/work or anything. I’ve had occasions where if I’m sitting at an appointment or even in line I get bone tired and have falling asleep at doctors. One occasion where I nodded off at a red light. I can sleep 6, 8, 12 hrs and still feel the same when I wake up. Like I never slept at all. My entire life I’ve woken up exhausted. I use to joke about being narcoleptic to laugh off my struggles. I’ve learned years ago it’s not like I’m the movies. I keep thinking I’ll grown into my internal clock as I get older but at 36 it’s not happening. I also struggle with severe anxiety and diagnosed with adhd, ptsd (car wreck), specific phobia, and have constant memory loss. Unrelated but I had Covid back in the fall and since my mental and physical well being have struggled even more. I had to drop my classes due to the brain fog and finally sought treatment. I am on adderall and currently trying pristique. The latter being the best match genetically as everything I’ve tried before caused severe depression or severe fatigue from meds that usually cause others to be more energetic. I can’t even take pm cold meds because it knocks me out so bad that I wake up absolutely weak and exhausted. My therapist said I share similarities with one of her patients who is narcoleptic and using Prozac for treatment which I can’t take. I never mentioned narcolepsy to her. My psychiatrist has not mentioned it nor have I for fear of being judged. I have major anxiety about even seeking help and being treated like I’m chasing down pills. I also have a thing about rules. I cannot break them. Like literally I will not even go through a door or stand in certain places unless I absolutely know I can. I can’t try pot for my issues because it’s not legal and many other things. However since being in adderall I have done so much better with my sleep. When I do get exhausted it’s the same. I’m bone tired and will fall asleep if I sit. But it only happens by night fall. In the beginning I woke much easier though that is becoming a bit difficult again. Still manageable. I’m afraid to up my dose per my diva recommendations cause I know the meds are not permanent or healthy. Plus risk of withdrawal/addiction for many. So I’m trying to wait it out until it’s almost no longer effective.
I don’t have cataplexy or any symptoms that I can think would qualify. Though I have either a very weak muscle in one eyebrow or tight one in the other. It’s not always but definitely when I’m on video or take pictures. Not when I look in the mirror. It’s weird and has become more obvious the past few years and random muscle twitches that I feel is probably common.
I also talk in my sleep and will do so when woken sometimes. Like sending my kid to get a grocery bag and get coming back to hand me it and I have no recollection of asking. Very video dreams as well.
But I guess my point is how do I ask about this? I’ve always been told I’m just lazy. I feel like I slept my 20’s away as a SAHM while kids were in school. I even failed a grade due to absences because I’d leave just to go home and go to sleep. I love classes and learning. I just can’t get up early, or stay awake in class. I have always felt like my body was just not getting the proper nutrients/care but fatigue made that so hard to even work on. I’ve felt like a horrible mother, wife, and just human for not doing more in my life. I lived off of caffeine that my anxiety was always triggered. But at the same time I feel like my symptoms are not enough to warrant a diagnosis. I really wish my doctor would recognize this and mention it. Do you have to do a sleep study? My meds help me so maybe I should leave it be. But if I am narcoleptic I feel like I can convince myself to not feel as guilt for being in the meds. Or maybe there are more effective ones that are less harmful. Maybe my adhd isn’t adhd at all but symptoms of narcolepsy? Especially since it was diagnosed as inattentive form. Idk any advice would be much appreciated and sorry for the rambling long post.
Puzzleheaded_Risk3681 karma
Since I was little I have struggled with sleep. I was always the last one up while my siblings were up with sun id sleep till 1pm if left alone. I’ve had nightmares my whole life as well. I struggled so much with alarm clocks that after my babies were past the toddler age I lost the mothering instinct and slept through anything. I could not get up in time for school/work or anything. I’ve had occasions where if I’m sitting at an appointment or even in line I get bone tired and have falling asleep at doctors. One occasion where I nodded off at a red light. I can sleep 6, 8, 12 hrs and still feel the same when I wake up. Like I never slept at all. My entire life I’ve woken up exhausted. I use to joke about being narcoleptic to laugh off my struggles. I’ve learned years ago it’s not like I’m the movies. I keep thinking I’ll grown into my internal clock as I get older but at 36 it’s not happening. I also struggle with severe anxiety and diagnosed with adhd, ptsd (car wreck), specific phobia, and have constant memory loss. Unrelated but I had Covid back in the fall and since my mental and physical well being have struggled even more. I had to drop my classes due to the brain fog and finally sought treatment. I am on adderall and currently trying pristique. The latter being the best match genetically as everything I’ve tried before caused severe depression or severe fatigue from meds that usually cause others to be more energetic. I can’t even take pm cold meds because it knocks me out so bad that I wake up absolutely weak and exhausted. My therapist said I share similarities with one of her patients who is narcoleptic and using Prozac for treatment which I can’t take. I never mentioned narcolepsy to her. My psychiatrist has not mentioned it nor have I for fear of being judged. I have major anxiety about even seeking help and being treated like I’m chasing down pills. I also have a thing about rules. I cannot break them. Like literally I will not even go through a door or stand in certain places unless I absolutely know I can. I can’t try pot for my issues because it’s not legal and many other things. However since being in adderall I have done so much better with my sleep. When I do get exhausted it’s the same. I’m bone tired and will fall asleep if I sit. But it only happens by night fall. In the beginning I woke much easier though that is becoming a bit difficult again. Still manageable. I’m afraid to up my dose per my diva recommendations cause I know the meds are not permanent or healthy. Plus risk of withdrawal/addiction for many. So I’m trying to wait it out until it’s almost no longer effective.
I don’t have cataplexy or any symptoms that I can think would qualify. Though I have either a very weak muscle in one eyebrow or tight one in the other. It’s not always but definitely when I’m on video or take pictures. Not when I look in the mirror. It’s weird and has become more obvious the past few years and random muscle twitches that I feel is probably common.
I also talk in my sleep and will do so when woken sometimes. Like sending my kid to get a grocery bag and get coming back to hand me it and I have no recollection of asking. Very video dreams as well.
But I guess my point is how do I ask about this? I’ve always been told I’m just lazy. I feel like I slept my 20’s away as a SAHM while kids were in school. I even failed a grade due to absences because I’d leave just to go home and go to sleep. I love classes and learning. I just can’t get up early, or stay awake in class. I have always felt like my body was just not getting the proper nutrients/care but fatigue made that so hard to even work on. I’ve felt like a horrible mother, wife, and just human for not doing more in my life. I lived off of caffeine that my anxiety was always triggered. But at the same time I feel like my symptoms are not enough to warrant a diagnosis. I really wish my doctor would recognize this and mention it. Do you have to do a sleep study? My meds help me so maybe I should leave it be. But if I am narcoleptic I feel like I can convince myself to not feel as guilt for being in the meds. Or maybe there are more effective ones that are less harmful. Maybe my adhd isn’t adhd at all but symptoms of narcolepsy? Especially since it was diagnosed as inattentive form. Idk any advice would be much appreciated and sorry for the rambling long post.
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