PipesPepp

So this might be a little weird to say, but anyway, I wanted to take the chance to say it to you. Also it's ten days past your AMA, so you probably won't notice the message, but still.

I grew up as a very shy and dorky tomboy in the Northern Territory, tiny little town where everyone knew everyone, and in a very conservative Christian family. Sex was totally taboo when I was growing up. And when I say conservative I mean conservative, 'period' was a dirty word in our house. I had a really rough and awkward puberty and got really confused and self-conscious about it, but never spoke to anyone because it was so taboo. I knew I wasn't straight, but I didn't think I was gay either. I thought I might be asexual, but still got horny. I wanted something but didn't know what it was and it made me really confused and anxious.

When I was about 14, 15 my family got an internet connection for the first time and I got kind of hooked on it, being a dorky bookworm and all. I started staying up at night to use it, and looking up pornos and sex guides -- more because I wanted to be able to brag about adult/edgy stuff that I had seen than out of real interest in watching porn. It seemed funnier to me more than sexy, the weird dialogue and gigantic penises impossibly disappearing into the women. But I found a video of you fooling around outside with Chloe B and immediately felt like I'd slipped into a really warm bath, you know the feeling, where your skin raises 5 degrees in temperature instantly? I think it was the first time I'd genuinely been turned on by something, and watching it was the first time I'd ever masturbated to or about something or some fantasy in particular and not just for the physical feeling. It was a huuuge relief to finally find what it was that I wanted and that I was sexual after all, even if I still had anxiety and issues over being gay in an environment like that (I love my parents but they definitely made it hard). I'd seen women kissing before and even lesbian pornos before but none of them really did it for me. Turns out they just weren't my type, I guess?

So I figured out I was gay thanks to you, pretty much directly. It was still 5 years or something like that before I moved away and started having an actual sex life and relationships, but finding Abby Winters and lesbian-lesbian porn really took a load off my mind and made it so much easier to figure out who I was (not to mention reduce my sexual frustration) and what it was I wanted. I can't imagine what my later teen years would have been like otherwise.

I just wanted to thank you for being an influence like that and for being kickass about sex-positive feminism, the positive side of porn and more open sexuality, etc. It's probably really weird to get a message that basically says "Yeah I was watching porn of you when I was a kid and wanked to you literally 300 times" (probably not an exaggeration if I'm being honest) but it was a big deal for me so I wanted to actually thank you for it. I still watch your videos and have a sentimental crush on you, haha.

I'm glad you found it touching, I was worrying I was embarrassing myself for a moment there! It's cool to be able to thank someone for being an influence on your life, just a little strange and exposing to confess adolescent masturbation habits to the subject of your fantasies.

It's definitely been hard, but it's starting to look up and I'm optimistic about the future, and it's part of what made me who I am, so it can't all be bad, right?

I'd love for you to tell Chloe as well! I didn't know you were actually sociable or friendly, that's so cool. Do you still do scenes with her? I know you've got your own site now but I'm not a member (I've looked at it and would love to be, but money's tight!), are you looking at having her on, or just chatting as friends?