Physics_Hot

Hello! I also posted this.

Hey, guys! Excited for this year’s AMA! Just wanna start off by thanking you guys for the incredible work you do; my life has definitely changed since I found your podcast! So I have a couple questions:

1. Recently, I discovered (with the help of my therapist) that I have issues with codependency. She recommended working from the bottom up, becoming emotionally unavailable in my relationships, and slowly working to be more present in them without feeling the need to solve someone’s problems in order to feel content. I was a little hesitant at first but I gave it a go. I started sensing the strategy straining my relationships and I tried to speak to my therapist about it, but she dismissed my thought cycles as being rooted in a need to gain attention. She soon stopped attending my calls and I haven’t been able to set an appointment in over a month. I feel kinda lost with this tool because I can’t seem to navigate it on my own. Any advice on dealing with codependency and whether or not this really is a good strategy would be great.

2. On a related note, some of my relationships are predicated on shared trauma; I also discovered that one of the ways I can effectively deal with that trauma is to compartmentalize and take away it’s power by placing it in the past and finding healthier ways of moving forward. My friend, however, feels like I’m pulling away because I don’t find our usual routine of trauma validation healthy anymore. I try my best to be there for them but I can tell it doesn’t help my friend. I don’t want to be someone who puts their needs over others and I really want to help them. I would love some tips on how I can be there for my friend without compromising my mental health.

Thanks again for everything you guys do! You are awesome!

Thanks for the response guys! I’ll definitely look into CodA and those books! Lots of love :)