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PaganButterflies10 karma

Oh, hey, I wrote the Catholic pope once, and they told me to talk to a priest, so maybe I can talk to you.

I was raised Jehovah's Witness. I left eventually, because I was pregnant and couldn't bear to force that life on my kids. Towards the end, I wanted to die instead of walking through the church doors. The elders were telling me I needed to be a better wife for my cheating husband, so he wouldn't feel the need to cheat, my husband was upset with me because I had to take care of our baby instead of have sex with him, and it got awful. I used to weep on the kitchen floor, rocking with my baby, begging God to help me and wondering why he abandoned me. Eventually, I picked myself up, told God he damn well better understand, refused to answer calls from the elders, divorced my abusive, cheating husband, got my own job and now am in a a much better place.

I, personally, am much happier in life, and my kids are safe, happy and loved, however, I lost the vast majority of my family and friends because JWs believe in shunning. My mom calls me every couple of months and begs me to reconsider my decisions because she doesn't want me to die at Armageddon and is worried I am too flippant in my attitude towards God and he will judge me adversely for leaving the JWs and divorcing my husband. She says it is presumptuous o me to think I could make it on my own without the church, and I need to learn humility and return for the sake of myself and my kids. My take is that a god of justice, love and mercy, would understand not wanting to raise kids in anger and fear and would support my decisions, but my mom (and the rest of the church, my mom is just who calls me every few months), insists without the protection of the church, I'm pretty much doomed. At this point, I'm not even sure god exists, but, I guess my question is, as a parish priest who, evidently, does believe in god, what's your take? Am I doomed to be judgement for being presumptuous and building my own life where my kids get to celebrate Christmas, or is god cool with me leaving and living a life where I'm not being abused and my kids are safe? And as I type that, I realize that sounds like a super loaded question, which makes me realize, the deeper question, I guess, really, is what does god think about organizations representing him the have abuse built so deeply into the fabric of their teachings?