Oscarius3

Hey, I have been having very similar problems over the last year that have come and go. When the thoughts are there I become very depressed and believe I have no future. I don't want to have children or get in a relationship because I have horrible thoughts that I could harm someone. Then for a week or so I will feel totally normal again and be driven to follow my aspirations such as music. I want to live life. I believe that this is the only one I have, I don't want to rely on drugs or treatment. So far I haven't received either and I go through these bipolaresque transitions frequently. What I really want to know, Is there any way I can live a normal happy life without getting major surgical treatment or being addicted to drugs that change my personality? Also I started smoking weed around a year ago which sort of coincides with the problems. I only smoke about two or three times a month on average. Do you think that this could be causing or contributing to my problems. So far talking to my mum about it has been the best therapy.

Ok, I have a day free tomorrow so I will go to the doctor at my uni. Thanks for the AMA btw because I know how horrible obsessive thinking is and it's good to know I'm not alone. It takes a lot of courage to talk about thoughts like these.