OrphanageYuangong

Several dead infants, lying, waiting to be picked up for 'disposal'.

Honestly, too upsetting to get into detail about.

Approximately equivalent, the abandoning of girls is kind of still a thing in some very rural areas but is mostly just a thing Westerners still talk about.

The orphanage I work has a pretty good staff to child ratio, in that each staff person is responsible on a full-time basis for somewhere between six and twelve children. Yes, obviously, they are not receiving the same attention as they would in a one-child house, but they receive more than the Duggar kids (ha ha). Psychological support is one of the main projects I've worked on here, getting regular therapy sessions in place for those kids that truly need it while shouldering much of the cost as the government doesn't really see the need.

I personally came here after moving to China, teaching, meeting the right people, moving from a school to the orphanage, people realizing I was serious, and eventually becoming a normal staff person. It happened over a period of years, but generally once someone has proven they aren't in it for themselves and aren't running back home in a couple months, they are accepted.

My job is the most rewarding thing in the world, even if the kids don't all turn out perfect, even if I make mistakes, at least I am providing them with the love and care they wouldn't have otherwise.

I try to be hopeful. Try is the key word. A couple kids have dropped out of schools to work in factories, a common action even among non-orphaned children, and only two or three kids have ever made it to high school. No one has ever made it to college. It is a bummer, the system and the society are kind of stacked against them, but I do my best to make them contributing members of Chinese society. Only time will tell if I am successful.

There is lots of bullying, just like there is in any place with lots of children. Kids are kids no matter what country.

There are lots of different kinds of bonds formed. Some kids form a "me against the world" viewpoint that alienates most around them, but a lot of the children who are very close refer to one another as siblings, and staff members that have been around for a while are often called "mom" or "dad". About half the children in my care refer to me as "dad", which I don't push but allow them to decide upon, this is the approach taken by pretty much everyone except a few very gung-ho women who demand they be called "mom"..ha.

Take it very slow and don't enforce your opinion about jack. Nothing worse than an opinionated foreigner marching in, everyone has stories about how much they hate those people. It takes the right connections and focusing on the fact that the STAFF work really fucking hard -- sure, the kids are sad, but the staff need approval and attention to. Build relationships over a looooooong period of time, like a year or more, and then eventually you will get there. But it takes a ton of time, effort, and conversation.