Obibirdkenobi

You must not be from Florida. Tourists end up in the hospital from sunburn. Source: am Floridian.

(Older Floridian here) There was suntan lotion, as it was called, back in the early Fifties, but the only ones I remember from back then were Coppertone and Sea & Ski. And only a single version of each.

There's also the usage of "holler" that refers to a valley.

Courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

in the southeast mountains of the United States this word is used instead of hollow (a small rising valley region between two hills or mountains, often containing a creek).

Wait. In case anyone else was confused about this, he didn't "poop out his penis," he "pooped out OF his penis." Both very WTF, but pooping out your own penis would require that you had previously ingested said penis, right? Another story entirely. So that's why I was confused.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be correcting your English. I'm just easily confused, and got a totally different mental image when I read it. Thanks for all the great work that you do, that would make squeamish people like me faint!