OGEspy117

On a scale of 5 to 7 how rekt do you feel?

Five years?! Jesus... scoliosis you say? My experience of the surgery was out of this world. First off as I'm being wheeled out of operation I awaken to the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. 12 hours under and I'm awake within 5 minutes. I ask for more pain killer from the nurse walking alongside the cart and she tells me I have enough to put down a cow anymore would be dangerous and I looked her dead in the eye and with no slur said "I'm not a cow, I'm a bull." And winked at her lol.

They proceeded to give me a morphine drip that was button activated.

Then not even a few days later they had me try walking. With just a classic walker and tennis balls. They determined I was fit to leave and sent me off with no physical therapy instruction or reference and honestly I think that is why I am in pain to this day.

The car ride home was hell. Folded the back seats down of the SUV and made a layer of blankets and I layed flat for the 5 hour drive. Every bump in the road that made me jolt even slightly made me scream out in agony. My poor mother was heartbroken listening to me and if you mention it today she'd tear up.

So much has happened since the surgery testing my very will. At one point I took a job climbing cell phone towers, I don't let it stop me. But lately it's been getting hard. And my daughters see me in pain and they don't understand they're only 2 and they'll get sad and try comforting me. Which makes me feel bad like they shouldn't be doing this to their 25 year old father.

My ribs were rotating and they would have eventually punctured my lungs/heart had I not gotten the surgery.

A long life of pain or a short one.

The worst thing is, pain can't kill you.

Trust me I know I was bed ridden for months. And I still have spasms all day every day. I could be having conversation with you and you'd never know. I've worked hard work jobs and if I feared getting fired made sure they never noticed.

It has definitely influenced me. The pain has shaped me and made me more, cunning. I have to outsmart my own mind it feels like all the time.

I had my surgery in November 2009 and I had a 60 degree shaped S both top and bottom.

I still live in pain. Every breathe is jolt of pain, falling asleep is near impossible. What can I do to help? I've been to dozens of doctors. I'm still fully functioning, it just hurts like hell to do. I have to push myself mentally and physically every day I climb that mountain of despair. Suicidal thoughts all the time I argue invalid.

I was denied disability twice and had to work many laborious jobs and will probably until I die . I just feel so hopeless. I even recently had a myelogram performed and they couldn't find anything, but the pain is very real, I know it's not in my head because my SO says I twitch in my sleep and a lot if times it wakes me up.

• stretches and excercise you recommend

My Xray

Edit; I'm chasing babys sorry