NiceGuysFinishLast

Sounds better than StopOrMyMomWillShoot.

You go places not wanting to masturbate?

I've been a donor ever since I got my license at 16. It always just made sense to me. I don't need them once I'm dead, why not help someone who does?

Tasteless, you say? I bet she'd like to know your secret.

Don't forget jet fuel, and all the heavy metals in the electronics EVERYWHERE in the buildings.